The psychology of seduction | Raj Persaud | TEDxUniversityofBristol

  • Published: 07 July 2016
  • Psychiatrist Dr Raj Persaud argues much human distress arises out relationships. But we can all become more skilled in our relationships be they in the domains of friendship, romance, work or career. Deploying the psychological principles behind seduction, the author of a new book on dysfunctional love - 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' - explains how improving how seductive you are, will also lead to benefits across many other aspects of your life, beyond just romance.

    Raj Persaud is a Consultant Psychiatrist who has written and broadcast widely in the mainstream media besides working as an academic and clinical psychiatrist, achieving the senior post of NHS Consultant Psychiatrist at the Bethlem Royal and Maudsley Hospitals from 1994-2008. He has won numerous academic distinctions including the Royal College of Psychiatrist’s Research Prize and Medal and holds amongst 8 degrees and diplomas including a First Class Honours degree in Psychology.

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 918

  • tom de haan
    tom de haan  2 days back

    I just wasted 16 mins of my life..

    • crestina Aghavni
      crestina Aghavni  4 days back

      this guy is great

      • Soluchi {Michael Jackson Lookalike, Dancer, VFX}

        Too much work. Not really worth it, in this day and age.

        • Phil Pacific
          Phil Pacific  1 weeks back

          false. you dont need a boyfriend. you need to sort out your psychiatric/mood disorders. then a positive relationship can function properly.

          • Leanne Marie
            Leanne Marie  1 weeks back

            Guess I’m not playing the game of life

            • Rei-chan K
              Rei-chan K  2 weeks back

              So... be a tsundere?
              I think this is how I unintentionally got my boyfriend...

              • lila 123456789
                lila 123456789  2 weeks back

                Ignore this comment as this is a personal msg

                Idk how it feels to be obsessed. When you love a person, u do things for her own benefit even if it would probably has nothing to do with you. Later on, that person will appreciate that and she will give back to you.

                i just realized that obsession is very unhealthy. Learn to love people by just trusting and caring for others. Thats what love is. Its not all about getting that person. Love is about consideration, understanding, empathy, caring and so forth. If u love someone, her happiness will also be ur happiness. Its not about selfishness

                So thats all that i can say

                • lila 123456789
                  lila 123456789  2 weeks back

                  And why do u always have to think that things are ending. We're just starting. Its all for us.

                • lila 123456789
                  lila 123456789  2 weeks back

                  And don't worry, i understand ur demons. But thats also the reason why i think i just need to meet u in the future. What you're feeling right now is not love.
                  I really want to meet u in the future though. I can envision that it will happen.
                  Sometimes it seems impossible but can happen that you will end up being with past friends/lovers that you onced hated...and then you will love them again

              • Coelacanthimorpha
                Coelacanthimorpha  2 weeks back

                You don´t even have to "act" when you are open and give the other person the chance to actually make an impact on you

                • Steve Sundberg
                  Steve Sundberg  2 weeks back

                  The dude looks like a banana in that out fit...don't wear that on a date

                  • Havaseet2
                    Havaseet2  2 weeks back

                    If you want to remain happy and financially stable, it's really this simple: Don't get married.

                    • TheLeadersTeacher
                      TheLeadersTeacher  3 weeks back

                      He just give me my Next idea of the work that will transform my entire life. Thank you Sir

                      • Sharmila Rahman
                        Sharmila Rahman  3 weeks back


                        • Crown lennox
                          Crown lennox  3 weeks back

                          That British accent tho👌🏾🆗

                          • N G
                            N G  3 weeks back

                            He explains Asia culture point of view.

                            • N G
                              N G  3 weeks back

                              He explains Asia culture point of view.

                              • jearss
                                jearss  3 weeks back

                                I look like the villan from Mulan, everyone hates me

                                • Nicolas Villamil
                                  Nicolas Villamil  3 weeks back

                                  Like, like and a million times like!!!

                                  • abdikheir osman
                                    abdikheir osman  3 weeks back

                                    The accent is soothing.. awesome

                                    • Eric Amelang
                                      Eric Amelang  4 weeks back

                                      Not "everybody" want's a monogamist relationship....but I kept watching.

                                      • Pan- Shot
                                        Pan- Shot  1 months back

                                        I guess I’m the 1%. Long term relationships look so undesirable to me. Anyone else?

                                        • Jamaal
                                          Jamaal  1 months back

                                          just ask for bob and vagene

                                          • Lex-Appeal
                                            Lex-Appeal  1 months back

                                            A psychiatrist talking about seduction...

                                            Heh, no. The whitecoat dweeb should stick to feeding state-sponsored addictions

                                            • Ali Mohatasim
                                              Ali Mohatasim  1 months back

                                              hey could anyone please help me to get this books pdf online " Simply Irresistible: The Psychology Of Seduction - How To Catch And Keep Your Perfect Partner " thank u

                                              • Antonio Rodriguez
                                                Antonio Rodriguez  1 months back

                                                The next time I need gas I'm definitely calling it a petrol station run.

                                                • Nada Yehia
                                                  Nada Yehia  1 months back

                                                  This man is brilliant! And the ending intrigued me enough to want to look him up

                                                  • Stella M
                                                    Stella M  1 months back

                                                    And after you're done love bombing her, then you can devalue and discard her. Then hoover her back for another go-round. Right?

                                                    • Steve Loeschke
                                                      Steve Loeschke  1 months back

                                                      I allways try to fill her like nobody ever did......

                                                      • Charlotte
                                                        Charlotte  2 months back

                                                        2:01 This isn’t true, that young lady has a misplaced dependency, people aren’t perfect and even if she does get a boyfriend, there is still the potential that he will dump her or he will be a bad boyfriend, and she’ll end up depressed again. It’s hard to explain in a YouTube comment at 3am, so to sum it up, people need relationships (friends, lovers, etc.) to survive, but too much dependency and too much asking for what THEY can do for YOU instead of the other way around will result in misery.

                                                        Also the most miserable question is “What about me?”
                                                        And depression is complex self-pity

                                                        • Tagore with Lyric
                                                          Tagore with Lyric  2 months back

                                                          Simply brilliant

                                                          • Lavender Violet
                                                            Lavender Violet  2 months back

                                                            My intention / goal / belief / mindset / prayer:
                                                            I am now attracting the perfect intimate romantic
                                                            loving-soulmate-partnership-relationship to me.
                                                            A relationship with my twin-flame.
                                                            (Re)Uniting in union
                                                            and bliss,
                                                            in perfect health,
                                                            and abundant wealth.
                                                            We are being magnetized to each other
                                                            So be it.
                                                            And so it is.

                                                            • Hurbertika Geirises
                                                              Hurbertika Geirises  2 months back

                                                              This man can speak...

                                                              • pistolen87
                                                                pistolen87  2 months back

                                                                So what's the difference from neggin?

                                                                • Patricia Bartosik
                                                                  Patricia Bartosik  2 months back

                                                                  I think at the beginning of a date, there's a degree of fear because you don't know them well...there's more defensiveness and then there's a knowing and you warm up.

                                                                  • Emily Johnson
                                                                    Emily Johnson  2 months back

                                                                    Tips for Seduction
                                                                    1. Based on social psychology experiment, being disagreeable then switching halfway through to being agreeable makes you more attractive to the other person. An artificial "warm up" is created
                                                                    2. Attention, interest, and maintenance. Different skills are necessary for each phase. Attention being am initial spark, interest being a focus on short term charms, and maintenance being long term commitment and patience.
                                                                    3. Appealing to bolster their weaknesses into strengths. Finding an unmet need, and fulfilling it.

                                                                    • MattD
                                                                      MattD  2 months back

                                                                      Oh brother

                                                                      • ChicTricksByKat
                                                                        ChicTricksByKat  2 months back

                                                                        I actually clapped at the end of this! Well done Mr. Persuad, I am now off to find any book you've written! :D

                                                                        • Rama Coutlabi
                                                                          Rama Coutlabi  2 months back

                                                                          Loved him

                                                                          • Dane B.
                                                                            Dane B.  2 months back

                                                                            Attention. Interest. Maintenance.


                                                                            • Xandria Ravenheart
                                                                              Xandria Ravenheart  2 months back

                                                                              I guess this is what most successful companies do, fill the unmet needs and constantly innovate to keep customers interested.

                                                                              • K Huff
                                                                                K Huff  2 months back

                                                                                Tthank you. I was Persauded!

                                                                                • Lys
                                                                                  Lys  2 months back

                                                                                  This is amazing!

                                                                                  • J Mori
                                                                                    J Mori  2 months back

                                                                                    Sounds like sociopathy to me

                                                                                    • Ingrid Weiner
                                                                                      Ingrid Weiner  2 months back

                                                                                      Be very, very careful who you marry.  Do. Not. Settle.

                                                                                      • محمد العمري
                                                                                        محمد العمري  2 months back

                                                                                        I think the truth behind seducing women is that the woman shall not feel any intension.
                                                                                        But you can not just act like you don't want it. She will feel it.
                                                                                        You must transform yourself for these hours to a man who really does not want it.
                                                                                        You trick yourself. You really think that you only want to walk with her and enjoy the conversation.

                                                                                        • Стефан Манов
                                                                                          Стефан Манов  2 months back

                                                                                          How is Casanova the best seducer in the world and he courts a woman months at a time, or better yet, how do you seduce dozens or hundreds of women true many months at the same time ? Sounds like B.S. to me.. at least how it's explained here.

                                                                                          • Nath C
                                                                                            Nath C  2 months back

                                                                                            Or not choose a monogamous relationship?! Ask a man to answer that test honestly 😂

                                                                                            • Joanna Komorowska
                                                                                              Joanna Komorowska  2 months back

                                                                                              Barney Stinson 2.0

                                                                                              • Erin Draper
                                                                                                Erin Draper  2 months back

                                                                                                Nice vid