Dating Is Dead | Kevin Carr | TEDxWilmingtonSalon

  • Published: 21 March 2017
  • Despite the possibilities of modern technology, the desire for instant results does not always translate well in the dating world.

    Kevin Carr contrasts the expectations of relationships in modern day versus in previous generations. For example, what is considered a date today versus decades ago? And what exactly are “situationships”?

    Even with today’s advancements and unlimited opportunities, we still can’t escape our desire for companionship.

    Kevin Carr is an accomplished author, speaker and TV Host/Personality. With over a decade of experience, his perspective on dating offers a practical road-map to help navigate being single while learning to create the relationship you desire. Whether addressing millennials, college students or a group of professionals seeking a meaningful relationship amidst their busy careers, Kevin delivers a message that provides direction and promotes honest dialogue. His unique perspective and engaging delivery have made him a sought after speaker across the country including appearances on ABC, BET, CBS, FOX and TBN. As a contributor, his work has also been featured in Essence,, and The Huffington Post. In his first book, “If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash,” he shows women how to tap into their personal power to control the pace and direction of their relationships.

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 2 001

  • 2Scoops OfHooah
    2Scoops OfHooah  4 hours back

    There is an assumption that men who choose not to chase women are "hurt" and they should not be "afraid" to try again. My thing is this- if you burn your hand on a stove you feel the pain and you decide that while it did not kill you you wouldn't do it again that is smart. So why then do we give "love" a pass. Why do we consciously excuse the fact that it is just as toxic as hatred in certain conditions?

    • M FLIGHT
      M FLIGHT  6 hours back


      • Arturo Lopez
        Arturo Lopez  22 hours back

        I don't understand social media, it's completely alien to me. Why are people so obsessed?

        • mark One
          mark One  1 days back


          • Towallomee sgel
            Towallomee sgel  2 days back

            3:03 I too get annoyed when someone calls me.(I really hate FACETIME) I prefer texting because they have to get to the point. When they're talking to me on the phone it's, BLA-BLA-BLA Ramble Ramble Ramble..

            • Brandon
              Brandon  2 days back

              90% of women go after 20% of men, if you look into any of the dating sites online these statistics are repeated. That 20% of men don't have to try nor have a committed relationship. While 90% of women are willing to just hook up or out right fight other women over a dude that won't commit.

              • Jeremy S
                Jeremy S  2 days back

                Love doesn't exist bud

                • Towallomee sgel
                  Towallomee sgel  2 days back

                  What he probably doesn't realize yet is that women don't love men. Women love what men provide. Protection, resources, children etc. When a woman says I love you, she's saying, "I love what you do for me." Another possible meaning is, I love you for the time being. The true text of a woman's love is how she treats you after you lose your job. Most women leave when a man is no longer able to support them.

                  • Gary Christenson
                    Gary Christenson  1 days back

                    Or when he is disabled, or another guy with more money comes along, or . . .

                • bino mejia
                  bino mejia  2 days back

                  Jajajaja..techonology has make us closer ..wrong.... It is destroying us. No more interection between person to person..

                  • 77Catguy
                    77Catguy  2 days back

                    He completely ignored the MGTOW movement in his presentation and the reasons why many men are avoiding marriage and even dating to begin with. Our laws are in serious need of reform in order to encourage the kind of stable relationship that would be best for all.

                    • Street Lighter
                      Street Lighter  2 days back

                      Dating died when women started thinking with their "little head".

                      • Abuse of mainstream media can harm your mind!

                        I think it is urgent to inform all young men on the principles of Hypergamy and Briffault's Law. The suicide rate among men speaks for itself!

                        • Christina Ostil
                          Christina Ostil  3 days back

                          Young people need Jesus Christ. He did have a wife and children. Our bible has gone through too many changes. Jesus Christ is still our savior. I’m a widow now and my husband is dead.

                          • Lucien Grondin
                            Lucien Grondin  3 days back

                            Overstimulation fragments complex behaviors, including courtship ones. Internet broke down courtship into short term relationships based purely on physical attraction, Tinder style.

                            • Mr Everybody
                              Mr Everybody  3 days back

                              I see people in the comments blaming Tinder, or feminism. But Tinder is just a tool, and feminism is just an idea. Blame the person that uses the tools, and buys into a faulty idea. Stop blaming the wrong thing...

                              • Noah Namey
                                Noah Namey  4 days back

                                Save your money and your sanity, gentlemen.
                                It's a rigged game, and you don't have to play.

                                • Felis sylvestris
                                  Felis sylvestris  4 days back

                                  Major Suchodolski

                                  • Trevor Morant
                                    Trevor Morant  4 days back

                                    We live in a kingdom of Whoredom Sodom and Gommorah. 99% of women are jezebel and some men which to receive the benefits of women get. MGTOW is the solution for a change in society

                                    • Ron Cole
                                      Ron Cole  6 days back

                                      Let’s just face it... internet ruined dating.

                                      • Paul G
                                        Paul G  6 days back

                                        Dating ain't dead....MARRIAGE IS. .😀😀😀😀😆😆😆

                                        • Yue Feng Thao
                                          Yue Feng Thao  6 days back

                                          If we try to date the old way in this generation, we would be labeled off as being creepy. So yes, dating is pretty much dead.

                                          • Zukka 88
                                            Zukka 88  6 days back

                                            Dating is dead and romance killed it.

                                            • FlyingSoul - Shots from Siberia!

                                              I stopped dating simply because it's not worth to.

                                              • Drop Kick
                                                Drop Kick  1 weeks back

                                                And prenups are ignored by courts

                                                • Drop Kick
                                                  Drop Kick  1 weeks back

                                                  6 million home and 1 million a year not enough for his ex wife

                                                  • Drop Kick
                                                    Drop Kick  1 weeks back

                                                    If you want a friend in this life get a bot. Hahahahaha

                                                    • Drop Kick
                                                      Drop Kick  1 weeks back

                                                      Who needs love or a partner and children ? You gotta career !

                                                      • Drop Kick
                                                        Drop Kick  1 weeks back


                                                        • dskyyksd
                                                          dskyyksd  1 weeks back

                                                          My parents hated computers. Now I know why. Not that there's any escape. They got out in time.

                                                          • terminalcommand
                                                            terminalcommand  1 weeks back

                                                            That was a completely empty TED so many of these have become. What was his message, what was he trying to say or a new perspective? Nothing, just millennial, buzz words, and appeal to emotion via my Dad had Cancer....

                                                            • terminalcommand
                                                              terminalcommand  1 weeks back

                                                              "Dating" is only an issue for ~85%-90% of men...This is not a female issue.....

                                                              • D. Jones
                                                                D. Jones  1 weeks back


                                                                • Nathan136
                                                                  Nathan136  1 weeks back

                                                                  Tinder isn't too blame, simps are to blame. Simps destroy the world.

                                                                  • GenZ MGTOW
                                                                    GenZ MGTOW  1 weeks back

                                                                    Love is fake news. Maybe coming from a man its real but woman...nah

                                                                    • terminalcommand
                                                                      terminalcommand  1 weeks back

                                                                      Women are incapable of "loving" and displaying it in the way that men display it via honor, commitment, protection....Sorry but you will never find this...but you can find an over grown, self-centered child that you can have a turn at spending time with....but don't expect a symbiotic partner....Women are also not capable at defending anyone outside of themselves and possibly their kids. No woman runs into a burning building for their husband........they don't love you like you love them.....

                                                                  • heaty007
                                                                    heaty007  1 weeks back

                                                                    Women offer fucken nothing. WTF

                                                                    • kay poly
                                                                      kay poly  1 weeks back

                                                                      At this stage, I don't know how any respectable man in his right senses would groom himself, put on nice clothes, wear a cologne, take a taxi or whatever to get to the club, stay on the qeue in the cold or heat only to get in a packed club where he can't even get a decent clean toilet to pee in, get all his nice shoes stepped on, buy the most expensive beer/drink of his life, and try to hook up with a bunch of women who only came to get their attention/ego boost on? the music is all loud you can't even here your own voice. Why? Why would any logical man do that?
                                                                      At the end of the day when the night is over, he would only get into fights with other angry drunk losers who are now going home by themselves.
                                                                      Why go through all these when I could eliminate all that nonesense and swip till I meet my match? yes, it is superficial but, hey! hooking up with a woman who only sees you but can't hear you is not superficial uhn?
                                                                      I have saved a ton by using the social media to my advantage and guess what, I am getting laid!

                                                                      • truth hurts
                                                                        truth hurts  1 weeks back

                                                                        MGTOW 😁.. No wife = happy life. 😎

                                                                        • Madea Simmons
                                                                          Madea Simmons  1 weeks back

                                                                          Women killed it, as they are not women any more

                                                                          • Synchronicity 12
                                                                            Synchronicity 12  1 weeks back

                                                                            Thank God my husband and I are Gen X, and not millenials. "Dating" sucks now. Hoping people get their act together and things get better in the future for our now 7 year old.

                                                                            • Alen Men
                                                                              Alen Men  1 weeks back

                                                                              We are the Fakest nation on earth led by the Fakest President in history.
                                                                              And, many of us are happy with it.

                                                                              • Jiheem Vohor
                                                                                Jiheem Vohor  1 weeks back

                                                                                What made this good is because he offered indept perception on how social norms changed so much.

                                                                                • Big Fella
                                                                                  Big Fella  1 weeks back

                                                                                  Brave new world

                                                                                  • cassidy18908
                                                                                    cassidy18908  1 weeks back

                                                                                    Love is more painful than hate now

                                                                                    • Apaphis
                                                                                      Apaphis  1 weeks back

                                                                                      Dating is dead love does not exist and we don’t need each other anymore. As far as companionships go I’ll buy a robot.

                                                                                    • Dan Cooper
                                                                                      Dan Cooper  2 weeks back


                                                                                      • Mgtow
                                                                                        Mgtow  2 weeks back

                                                                                        Mgtow is the future!

                                                                                        • Galimeer5
                                                                                          Galimeer5  2 weeks back

                                                                                          If the key to long life is meaningful relationships, it's no wonder why people avoid meaningful relationships.

                                                                                          • Hefty Alan
                                                                                            Hefty Alan  2 weeks back

                                                                                            Why date when GPS tells you who is up for it within the next 100 metres.