Dating Is Dead | Kevin Carr | TEDxWilmingtonSalon

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  • Published: 21 March 2017
  • Despite the possibilities of modern technology, the desire for instant results does not always translate well in the dating world.

    Kevin Carr contrasts the expectations of relationships in modern day versus in previous generations. For example, what is considered a date today versus decades ago? And what exactly are “situationships”?

    Even with today’s advancements and unlimited opportunities, we still can’t escape our desire for companionship.

    Kevin Carr is an accomplished author, speaker and TV Host/Personality. With over a decade of experience, his perspective on dating offers a practical road-map to help navigate being single while learning to create the relationship you desire. Whether addressing millennials, college students or a group of professionals seeking a meaningful relationship amidst their busy careers, Kevin delivers a message that provides direction and promotes honest dialogue. His unique perspective and engaging delivery have made him a sought after speaker across the country including appearances on ABC, BET, CBS, FOX and TBN. As a contributor, his work has also been featured in Essence, HelloBeautiful.com, and The Huffington Post. In his first book, “If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash,” he shows women how to tap into their personal power to control the pace and direction of their relationships.

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 1 898

  • Joshua Calosso
    Joshua Calosso  16 hours back

    Millennials killed dating

    • Edward Gold
      Edward Gold  3 days back

      Of course dating is dead. It was killed by feminists. They wanted the end of traditional marriage. Well, they got it.

      • Total Mass Retain
        Total Mass Retain  1 weeks back

        I never answered the phone before caller ID and cells, and I certainly don’t intend to start answering it now

        • BOONIQUE
          BOONIQUE  2 weeks back

          The key is to look as poor as possible so that you are completely invisible to women. Most American women look for a lifestyle upgrade, not love.

          • The John Singh Show
            The John Singh Show  2 weeks back

            The internet ruined everything.

            • Warren Mazengwe
              Warren Mazengwe  3 weeks back

              Dating is dead because single women are less willing to meet new people nowadays, unless they are introduced by a mutual friend.
              Women (especially the pretty ones) are unaproachable. The only women still friendly are the married ones or girls already in longterm relationships. If I'm wrong, then tell me how it is.

              • Third Line Clip Arts
                Third Line Clip Arts  4 weeks back

                Dating is not dead. It is just difficult to find the right person. If you are willing to go overseas and pursue him or her, you may become successful.

                I have a WordPress blog called "Foreign Love Web". I encourage mainly American and Western men to go to Ukraine, Colombia, Philippines, Brazil, and other similar countries so that they can find their potential wives or girlfriends. There are no rules, limits, etc. when it comes to international love.

                • Nida 95
                  Nida 95  4 weeks back

                  Feminism has killed everything

                  • Morgan Olfursson
                    Morgan Olfursson  4 weeks back

                    If you haven't found love at your age buddy, it is very much likely that the problem comes from you than from anything or anyone else. Maybe quit being so self-righteous and self-indulgent and you might find love or be able to date .
                    Dating isn't dead . I am married and i still date , i take my better half on dates all the time and vice versa. Our older kids are teens and young adults and they date all the time too . They do it differently than i did , just like i did it differently from how my parents did , who themselves did it differently from theirs , etc , etc...
                    Dating isn't date , dating just evolved and changed like eveything in society . You just can't cope with the change and start becoming an old guy , blaming the world.

                    • Karl Emch
                      Karl Emch  1 months back

                      The comment section is full of angry, bitter, men.

                      • youBoob
                        youBoob  1 months back

                        this guy is the WORST stand up comedian of all time!! no funny jokes or weird voices or goofy accents

                        if this is comedy nowadays comedy is dead...

                        • tallboywitshortpants
                          tallboywitshortpants  1 months back

                          In this day and age, I don’t want love.

                          • Monkey_Man
                            Monkey_Man  1 months back

                            It's all out of our control. Trying to get a handle on focusing on the problem is to much like arithmetic for some.

                            • protoluigi
                              protoluigi  1 months back

                              The only kind of people we are attracted to are fictional characters from entertainment such as anime and video games.

                              • ed p
                                ed p  1 months back

                                6:05 : 26% of millennials are married. So that means 26% of millies are grown ups. Really? That many?

                                • mike77588
                                  mike77588  1 months back

                                  What a bunch of non-points

                                  • megankk91
                                    megankk91  1 months back

                                    Does he need a date? I’m available 🙋🏾

                                    • john loza
                                      john loza  1 months back

                                      i dont understand why there are so many women in the audience. their the ones creating the dating problems !

                                      • DJ Trippz
                                        DJ Trippz  1 months back

                                        Love yourself 80% of ppl are alone

                                        • J Wil
                                          J Wil  1 months back

                                          Obese women being told they're hot by Leftist media (and demanding that men think so), and men deciding women aren't worth the effort. Not a good combination for continuing the human race.

                                          • Joe Shugabowski
                                            Joe Shugabowski  1 months back

                                            Dont blame it on left, it is thirsty guys who are happy to be with a woman 2-4 points below their value are real problem.
                                            Women just take advantage of it.

                                        • Rodriquez Camese
                                          Rodriquez Camese  2 months back

                                          I don't buy rental cars.

                                          • Amanda Fae
                                            Amanda Fae  2 months back

                                            Yeah..... I think I'll just stay single. I'd rather not bother and waste my time on today's silliness.

                                            • Mulatre Star
                                              Mulatre Star  2 months back

                                              a great book to read is Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Accident book if you want to understand women and women want to understand men.

                                              • MrPoe22
                                                MrPoe22  2 months back

                                                Relationships in general are becoming s thing of the past, irregardless of your generation. The culture that currently exists is too negative and toxic to allow any sort of meaningful connection possible. Feminism, social media, technology etc have eroded the family and moral fabric. These are things which will never come back, hence, marriage, family and commitment are rapidly becoming extinct.

                                                • Bryce Clark
                                                  Bryce Clark  2 months back

                                                  Western consumers of the now are by far the least capable generation of any... an entire decade lost to a bad economy that is now approaching two generations raised by handheld slot machines and virtual realities. The US is soon to become a technologically driven feudal society where your presence is expressed online rather than in person. In person, we’ll be nobodies and strangers to all in our actual and tangible communities.

                                                  • X
                                                    X  2 months back

                                                    I could be totally wrong but I don't necessarily think the idea of dating is "dead." People just don't want something real anymore. They don't want commitment. It's sad.

                                                    • PianoAmante
                                                      PianoAmante  2 months back

                                                      It’s an Alpha male and curvy women market

                                                      • Rubie Con
                                                        Rubie Con  2 months back

                                                        can yall describe yall perfect woman

                                                        • Joy
                                                          Joy  2 months back

                                                          BRAVO!!!!! EXCELLENT MESSAGE!

                                                          • Apps Account
                                                            Apps Account  2 months back

                                                            Can anyone tell me what accent is he speaking ? Please answer only if you are aware of it.

                                                            • Ali A
                                                              Ali A  2 months back

                                                              I’m a American millennial and I’ll probably stay sexless my entire life. But I don’t mind because I don’t like how women always wants stuff, can smell bad, have hygiene problems, and how they get old it’s a turn off for me.

                                                              • Bellock_Grithlus
                                                                Bellock_Grithlus  2 months back

                                                                lol since women get hundreds of matches a day. hypergamy is how they
                                                                choose the best man. with limitless matches its no wonder they drop us
                                                                like disposable males

                                                                • Richie Hyacinth
                                                                  Richie Hyacinth  2 months back

                                                                  When you take double the recommended red pill dosage

                                                                  • rachelle2227
                                                                    rachelle2227  2 months back

                                                                    I've never really been on a first date. I met my now husband on YouTube comments. i hadn't gone on any dates before (unusual for my then age, 22. I hadn't ever met a guy compatible enough to even desire a first date with/I didn't try). We met after talking for three months, and we had a 'date with my sister and her friend because my parents wanted me to be careful since I hadn't met him in person. He immigrated to the US in august and I couldn't be happier that I didn't have to date to find such a wonderful, intelligent man.

                                                                    • swinedog712
                                                                      swinedog712  2 months back

                                                                      Men are walking away from a no win situation. MGTOW

                                                                      • Justin Beck
                                                                        Justin Beck  3 months back

                                                                        I'll take a situationship over frenemies..I guess.

                                                                        • D smith
                                                                          D smith  3 months back

                                                                          I am grateful that I can still love.. Because the last few years of dating, has been brutal!

                                                                          • Mihaila
                                                                            Mihaila  3 months back

                                                                            I think, the more "freedom" we have, the more confused we get!

                                                                            • Bellock_Grithlus
                                                                              Bellock_Grithlus  2 months back

                                                                              lol since women get hundreds of matches a day. hypergamy is how you choose the best man. with limitless matches its no wonder you drop us like disposable males

                                                                          • Mae88 B.
                                                                            Mae88 B.  3 months back

                                                                            No wonder until now am still single.

                                                                            • JMalik Lewis
                                                                              JMalik Lewis  3 months back

                                                                              Dating not dead..we just have a culture where people lack patience an commitment skills..no one willing to invest or work hard to develop something special or longterm..

                                                                              • Bellock_Grithlus
                                                                                Bellock_Grithlus  2 months back

                                                                                lol since women get hundreds of matches a day. hypergamy is how they choose the best man. with limitless matches its no wonder they drop us like disposable males

                                                                            • markigirl27
                                                                              markigirl27  3 months back

                                                                              dating is dead bc most of us dont want to deal with the heartache and/or money loss we deal with if it dont work out the fear of rejection and failure exceeds our need for deeper connections....thats why our generation is depressed and suicidal

                                                                              • Zappa4518 Creations
                                                                                Zappa4518 Creations  3 months back

                                                                                Starters get rid of all of your social media accounts.

                                                                                • Zappa4518 Creations
                                                                                  Zappa4518 Creations  3 months back

                                                                                  Its better to be single than miserable

                                                                                  • Mahatma Ghandi
                                                                                    Mahatma Ghandi  3 months back

                                                                                    I'm glad dating is dead and saves men a lot of misery. Relationships are too dangerous for men. Women don't appreciate men in value us anymore it's better to stay out. Better to go your own way. Mgtow- men going their own way

                                                                                    • Goku Godly
                                                                                      Goku Godly  2 months back

                                                                                      All dating are doomed now YAY!

                                                                                  • AxeKick80
                                                                                    AxeKick80  3 months back

                                                                                    Thanks LL Cool J

                                                                                    • VinylRecordsCareEtc
                                                                                      VinylRecordsCareEtc  3 months back

                                                                                      Gen X here. I don’t understand why millennials hate talking on the phone so much? Can someone explain? I like to text, because it’s convenient. But if we are texting past 5 mins, I’m going to call you.

                                                                                      • VinylRecordsCareEtc
                                                                                        VinylRecordsCareEtc  3 weeks back

                                                                                        Warren Mazengwe The only reason why they’re friendly is because they are in hypergamy mode. Checking what options are still out there. They’ll monkey branch in a heartbeat....

                                                                                      • Warren Mazengwe
                                                                                        Warren Mazengwe  3 weeks back

                                                                                        Dating is dead because single women are less willing to meet new people nowadays, unless they are introduced by a mutual friend.Women (especially the pretty ones) are unaproachable. The only women still friendly are the married ones or girls already in longterm relationships. If I'm wrong, then tell me how it is.

                                                                                    • Karolina Socha-Duśko
                                                                                      Karolina Socha-Duśko  3 months back

                                                                                      Makes me feel lucky to be approaching 40 and really worried about the future of humanity.

                                                                                      • sSam Smith
                                                                                        sSam Smith  3 months back

                                                                                        Everything ain't for everybody. Including dating. So to see people who probably don't belong in the single life realm try to be about that life is kind sad. To try your hardest to put on a front ain't the way to go. You'll know which way works for you when the lifestyle doesn't feel like a facade, and you are at peace with it.