Love Lessons from Open Relationships | Kathy Slaughter | TEDxWabashCollege

  • Published: 08 June 2018
  • Relationships can get ugly, but this doesn't have to be your reality. Kathy Slaughter proposes a revolutionary idea that people can benefit from the practices of those in open-relationships. Learn how better communication, time away from your partner, and more, can have a positive impact on your love life.

    As a licensed clinical social worker, Kathy Slaughter passionately pursues the craft of psychotherapy. She specializes in human sexuality, relationships and trauma at her private practice in Indianapolis, Indiana. Kathy’s passion for personal growth and self-development is matched only by her interest in teaching others, through one to one interactions, workshops or events. Kathy speaks at events, a variety of professional conferences and podcast interviews. She also leads Sex Geekdom Indy and blogs at Personally, Kathy enjoys outdoor art festivals like Burning Man, practicing yoga, weight lifting, and knitting. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 87

  • ALleycat19687
    ALleycat19687  18 hours back

    Marriage is doomed in the USA

    • julie liu
      julie liu  3 days back

      丑人多作怪。She is mental and unhappy, how come she could guide people seek for happy relationship?

      • Elizabeth Blane
        Elizabeth Blane  4 days back

        Am I living in an alternative universe where up is down, true is false, freedom is slavery . . . ?

        • The MGTOW Monk
          The MGTOW Monk  2 weeks back


          • The MGTOW Monk
            The MGTOW Monk  2 weeks back


            • Fiorenza Freedom
              Fiorenza Freedom  1 months back

              Id rather take relationship advice from the couple next door that have been married 50+ years.

              • salto0084
                salto0084  1 months back

                Open relationships are often not really consenual. One of the partners wants to see other people and give the other one two choices: either you agree on it or the relationship is over. Apart from that, I think I wouldn't take relationship advice from this speaker. She seems to be not happy about her love life, what does make her an expert on that issue then?

              • Zhanybek Nurgaziev
                Zhanybek Nurgaziev  2 months back

                Kind of swingers

                • p b
                  p b  2 months back

                  I would rather just be single.

                  • dasha chess
                    dasha chess  2 months back

                    So is there commitment in the open relationship?

                    • arturo Acosta
                      arturo Acosta  3 days back

                      probably not,to me an open relationship is a friends with benifits arrangement in a nutshell.

                  • Sample Owner
                    Sample Owner  2 months back

                    Monogamy is boring

                  • --
                    --  2 months back

                    I have to go to the gym now.

                    • Griffith Valentino
                      Griffith Valentino  2 months back

                      She one of those people who fells like she is about to cry always

                      • Amanda
                        Amanda  1 months back

                        Griffith Valentino nervous

                    • Jug Head
                      Jug Head  2 months back

                      Wtf I love destroying the fabric of society now

                      • rrnnddmm
                        rrnnddmm  1 days back

                        Society is supposed to be built around people's needs, and loving, having a strong affection towards more than one person, is absolutely natural.
                        We're not robots, our love for someone doesn't inhibit us to feel love for others too, and affection is also not of binary intensity.

                    • the black dog
                      the black dog  2 months back

                      Absolute degeneracy. Monogamy progressed civilization. Even if women "naturally" want to live in Chad harems, it's at the expense of progress. Enjoy your mud huts when it all collapses.

                      • Plen122
                        Plen122  2 weeks back

                        WTF are you talking about... Mud huts LMAO

                    • Drastic Measures
                      Drastic Measures  2 months back

                      Man I would love to ask Kathy out.
                      What a frickin’ babe!

                      • Gwendolyn de Ashborough
                        Gwendolyn de Ashborough  3 months back

                        Monogamy is something you do out of respect for yourself NOT for another person.

                        • Gwendolyn de Ashborough
                          Gwendolyn de Ashborough  2 weeks back

                          +iicei Do you understand what was said? Monogamy is vital in a relationship. But do it out of respect for yourself first. Sorry about the Immoral women that you are meeting, it has nothing to do with this comment. 1)Read,= 2) Comprehend 3)Then comment.

                        • iicei
                          iicei  2 months back

                          And you expect the same from your partner however women today are so badly damaged by riding the CC and getting plowed out like a corn field that no valuable man want to spend any of his time or resources on any of them because their value is zero and most women today are STD which brings their value to nothing. Hard pass. Don't let this mentally ill land whale to try and convince you that partner swapping is normal because it's the worst part of abnormal.

                      • Hoàng Nguyễn
                        Hoàng Nguyễn  3 months back

                        The time that your partner is not at your side is a good thing

                        • Will O'Toole
                          Will O'Toole  3 months back

                          Sound blows more dicks than the speaker, but good talk.

                        • Mariposa Redimida
                          Mariposa Redimida  3 months back

                          Damn, I have been feeling that "meth hit" kind of thing... glad to be reminded it's not just me.

                          • David B
                            David B  3 months back

                            I recently opened my relationship with my high school gf and it's the best thing since the microwave

                            • dasha chess
                              dasha chess  2 months back

                              +HIV I find your comment hilarious due to your name x D

                            • dasha chess
                              dasha chess  2 months back

                              +Petroula 96 check out Connor and Britney

                            • HIV
                              HIV  3 months back

                              I hope you get herpes

                          • ybnfatboi
                            ybnfatboi  4 months back

                            thanks for the help everyone !!!!

                            • Bill Talker
                              Bill Talker  4 months back

                              Wow, Wabash College must be a joke to want this type of sick and unhealthy idealogy to represent their school.

                              • Plen122
                                Plen122  2 weeks back

                                Bill never went to school lol

                              • Steve Judah
                                Steve Judah  3 months back

                                Her talk was about communicating with your significant other in an honest way and being honest with yourself. If that's the definition of "unhealthy" then I sure don't want to go to whatever school you came from.

                            • Mumtaz Shamsee
                              Mumtaz Shamsee  4 months back

                              BS - just a little bit of love, modesty and decency that is left, women are all set to try and destroy even that.

                            • Mucka Smith
                              Mucka Smith  5 months back

                              Content is wonderful, audio is terrible ugh, ty tho.

                              • nathanephraim
                                nathanephraim  5 months back

                                Stopped watching this video after 2 minutes because her heavy breathing was getting on my nerves... wtf is wrong with her.

                                • Plen122
                                  Plen122  2 weeks back

                                  She's hot

                                • Presbian116 Tier1
                                  Presbian116 Tier1  3 months back


                                • Bill Talker
                                  Bill Talker  4 months back

                                  She's talking about open relationships... hoping someone in the audience would be convinced and give her attention

                              • Julius Red
                                Julius Red  5 months back

                                Romantic Love is an absurd concept in the first place. Monogamy and Polyamory are both equally irrational.

                              • The Crab
                                The Crab  6 months back

                                I dont like snowflakes. Declare your position and pick a side. You're either for open relationships or you're not. Geeez 😏

                                • IntegratedHope
                                  IntegratedHope  5 months back

                                  I believe in self-determination as the highest value, so I don't pick sides for anyone besides myself. To do otherwise would violate my beliefs, so happy to be a snowflake! :)

                              • 野村ERIK
                                野村ERIK  6 months back

                                Me and my boy would full fill her dreams... Tag team.

                                • Sonja Joy
                                  Sonja Joy  7 months back

                                  Why is this video muted?

                                  • Corryn Montgomery
                                    Corryn Montgomery  7 months back

                                    So much scientific proof behind how this is the preferred model of intimate relations based on human biology and evolution ☀️ not sure if I agree with everything but I think it’s so beneficial for people to understand this basis because it does hold some incredible value whether you choose monotony or not

                                    • player6860
                                      player6860  5 months back

                                      Scientific proof? Which one? Do you have a scientific paper to back it up (a real paper, not a hypothesis)?

                                    • hosein ataie
                                      hosein ataie  5 months back

                                      Corryn M I'm sure you know nothing about sexology or psycology of relationships!please just show me a scientific point in that presentation it's more like pesudoscience!

                                  • D. Anthony
                                    D. Anthony  8 months back

                                    With the disease rate the way it is open relationships are for the foolish and people that don't value their health! If you sleep with people that sleep with people your playing Russian roulette with your body and life. Good luck

                                    • Gwendolyn de Ashborough
                                      Gwendolyn de Ashborough  3 months back

                                      Damn Right, Monogamy is something you do out of respect for yourself NOT for another person.

                                    • Leanne Teddy
                                      Leanne Teddy  3 months back

                                      IntegratedHope I would not catch a disease in a monogamous relationship at all, because before going exclusive we got checked out, and we have no need or time to cheat. That said, if we want something other, we’re not obligated to stay in that relationship.

                                    • CallMeJAR1
                                      CallMeJAR1  4 months back

                                      +IntegratedHope the imperfect implementation of monogamy has about the same risk of STDs as couples in non monogamy relationships. A perfect implementation of monogamy does however fair better.

                                  • Dom
                                    Dom  8 months back

                                    so true, very few people when they get into a relationship actually talk about their needs, wants and expectations with their partner, and then hurt feelings, cheating, betrayal and all that occurs

                                    about what she said that the distance is good - speaking from my own experience, i feel more joy when someone i like comes back to me even after hanging out with other people, makes me appreciate our shared moments more

                                  • C RA
                                    C RA  8 months back

                                    Ted Talks, funded by your friend and mine, George Soros.

                                    • reperealegandirii
                                      reperealegandirii  8 months back

                                      Thats the perfect mind set of eluding the responsability of being faithfull to your partener because we "need" extra erotic energy. Hmm, it seems to me that is precisely the definition of selfishness.

                                      • Plen122
                                        Plen122  2 weeks back

                                        +Roberto Bonafé no it's not

                                      • Roberto Bonafé
                                        Roberto Bonafé  2 months back

                                        Open marriage is only a way to cheat and at the same time enjoy the security of a normal family. It's cheating anyway and so a marriage does not last long.

                                      • iicei
                                        iicei  2 months back

                                        Exactly, well said.

                                      • IntegratedHope
                                        IntegratedHope  5 months back

                                        +Esther Nwafor It's not a relationship style for everyone. It requires adjusting a great deal about how we think about what romance and intimacy means, and it's 100% okay to say no thanks. I hope you've found a way forward for you and your partner

                                      • reperealegandirii
                                        reperealegandirii  5 months back

                                        +autismpeteWhat is selfishness?

                                    • JillIan Williams
                                      JillIan Williams  11 months back


                                      • Mamabear 06
                                        Mamabear 06  4 months back

                                        Sound sucks..

                                      • Brittney Books
                                        Brittney Books  7 months back

                                        I had to switch earphones. My left on works, my right one doesn’t.


                                    • Hari Patel
                                      Hari Patel  12 months back

                                      One of the best TEDx ever