How to stop swiping and find your person on dating apps | Christina Wallace

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  • Published: 21 August 2018
  • Let's face it, online dating can suck. So many potential people, so much time wasted -- is it even worth it? Podcaster and entrepreneur Christina Wallace thinks so, if you do it right. In a funny, practical talk, Wallace shares how she used her MBA skill set to invent a "zero date" approach and get off swipe-based apps -- and how you can, too.

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Comments • 764

  • Heather Mcbreen
    Heather Mcbreen  17 hours back

    such good advice. i feel like it is first and foremost okay to say you don't like dating apps and that you are not required to engage in order to find fulfillment, happiness or love in the modern era. i liked this article on the subject https://puttingoutandputtingup.com/2019/01/29/the-low-down-on-dating-apps/

    • Vitalii
      Vitalii  5 days back

      So she fucked with 1000 bad guys till 30 and now found some loser and ready to have kids ? :-)

      • steezli
        steezli  5 days back

        Someone tell Chazz to run and run fast!

        • SuperbLegend
          SuperbLegend  5 days back

          You put yourself on a high pedestal for being kinda unattractive. But always got thirsty mofos huh? Chronic sends regards

          • War Is Wrong
            War Is Wrong  5 days back

            Undead Chronic sent me from Bitchute which doesn't censor. I disagree with him about Christina's looks, which I find hot and similar to my 21 year old girlfriend. It's just that I'd prefer 21 to 31 even though I'm 61. This just shows there are too many rich men in NY, making it dumb for a man to compete there for hot thirty somethings. Better to find a young version of Christina in a small college town before she goes to the big city.

            • Anthony Caruso
              Anthony Caruso  5 days back

              How many people are here just to read the comments because of undead chronic's video?

              • Jacek Fieldman
                Jacek Fieldman  5 days back

                Really?! Someone wanted this female version of Sid from Ice Age? ;)

                • Sean Holmes
                  Sean Holmes  5 days back

                  This is why no one respects Ted talks anymore.

                  • Novaks47
                    Novaks47  5 days back

                    Walled out and stalled out, enjoy your apps and cats!

                    • 0bsolete-X
                      0bsolete-X  5 days back

                      Undead Chronic wrecked this broad!

                      • SVETOGOR
                        SVETOGOR  5 days back

                        Give 10 years and beautiful AI robots will be in many mens houses! I see more and more electric tesla cars - people laughed before, they say never happen! people laughed about internet..... people laughed a lot about the thing we have now.......

                        • D C
                          D C  5 days back

                          Entitled average looking woman has totally far fetched idea of what her sexual market place value is and demand's a man in the top one percent, you'll thank me later.

                          • connann barbarin
                            connann barbarin  6 days back

                            You deleted Undead Chronics video but you can't stop the Red Pill Army.......GLORY TO LORD COMMANDER

                            • Anthony Caruso
                              Anthony Caruso  5 days back

                              I'm here from his video just to read the comments haha

                          • rich hall
                            rich hall  6 days back

                            Sorry, but a masculine acting woman, an MBA, and a job title doesn't turn my crank. The near term looks favorable for cat litter stocks, boxed wine, and psych meds.

                            • Caliban777
                              Caliban777  5 days back

                              rich hall Lots of lesbians would find her very attractive.

                          • Col Rock100
                            Col Rock100  6 days back

                            Helps if you take the massive potato off your shoulder ! 😂

                            • Regula Guy
                              Regula Guy  6 days back

                              So from the very beginning she says she filters through her messages because no man, who feminist women consider subhuman is worth reaching out to first. It sets an unrealistic expectation. Poor her! I bet you her man has figured out who she really is by now and has moved on. But not to worry, she gets 200 messages a day. Also, fun fact only about 2 percent of all men are above 6 feet.

                              • Tappa Tappa
                                Tappa Tappa  6 days back

                                She basically saying everyone is beneath her !
                                She's 6 feet ..... over 30 ........ gross and greasy !

                                • John Nash
                                  John Nash  6 days back

                                  another example of why I am not attracted to the personalities of American women :(

                                  • Steve Thomas
                                    Steve Thomas  2 weeks back

                                    Just taking Tinder into account (and excluding all the other dating sites / apps I'm either on or have used in the last 15 years), I must have liked around 5,000 - 6,000 profiles approx in the 10 months I've been on it. Out of those, I have managed to get around 15 matches, some of which were scammers / spam bots, a few others quickly unmatched me as soon as I messaged them (if not sooner), a few others ghosted me and out of the remaining few matches, I went on ONE date. She at least turned out to be as genuine as she sounded / looked but alas, I wasn't for her.

                                    My point is, this is what I as an average man can expect on dating apps and sites. I can also assure you that in 15 years of doing this, my results have been pretty much non-existent.

                                    And quite frankly, it absolutely SUCKS.

                                    I am more than acutely aware that women do have their own problems when it comes to online and mobile app dating. But Jesus tap dancing Christ, it sure isn't a frigging Mardi Gras for a lot of us men either.

                                    You can trust me on that one.

                                    • Klaus Kloss
                                      Klaus Kloss  4 weeks back

                                      The problem with online dating is that it follows a proven psychological experiment called the “Jam Experiment”. Shoppers were given endless Jam choices in a grocery store. In the end, they were overwhelmed and chose NONE. When the choices were reduced, it was easier. So guess what guys, YOU HAVE NO HOPE ON A DATING APP!

                                      • thanglong pham
                                        thanglong pham  1 months back

                                        I was playing with a scammer on OKC . that scammer is freaking stupid. He did not realize that I already knew he was a scammer. 😂

                                        • LordOfTrash
                                          LordOfTrash  1 months back

                                          Been turned down by a girl in a wheelchair, a girl who was deaf, and a girl that suffered from dwarfism. Women are shallow, and have unrealistic expectations. When you're a man on a dating site, you are nothing but a face on a screen.

                                          • Marcela Frances
                                            Marcela Frances  1 months back

                                            Thank you! We have to know what we want and meet in person quickly. I agree. I tend to make my first dates so long even when I know there isn't chemistry because I'm having fun and like to talk and then it ends up going nowhere on both sides. I see all the male comments on here and it's been the same for me. I message a guy and he responds once or never after we match and then he's vanished....

                                            • Captain
                                              Captain  1 months back

                                              Якубеня рассказывает как она уронила сосиску.

                                              • Schuyler Hanson
                                                Schuyler Hanson  2 months back

                                                Spot on. Aimless swiping sucks, meeting people is fun. Interesting statisitics!

                                                • blakliffy
                                                  blakliffy  2 months back

                                                  *when you hit the wall*

                                                  • Nigel Coleman
                                                    Nigel Coleman  2 months back

                                                    This works for a woman but the game is played entirely differently as a man...

                                                    • Lala
                                                      Lala  2 months back

                                                      Honestly a lot of guys who check that list turn out to be faking their interest the whole time and kept looking for options even when you thought things are going well. Also not all women get 1 reply for every 2 messages they send. Some of us get 1 reply for every 10 messages, but fine, I guess that's still a better percentage than what men get.

                                                      • linkinmetalica
                                                        linkinmetalica  2 months back

                                                        Look if you're going to talk about dating you have to have a statistic from both sexes and a live experiment. There's no way you could make conclusions about online dating with only your personal experience as a woman for both women and men. Take the average unattractive guy, even if he follows exactly what you have listed, he'd be lucky to even get a like online. A lot of it has more to do with building a social profile than it has to do with online dating. It includes going to events, taking pictures at those events, and using the social media outlets for it.

                                                        • Ankur Abichandani
                                                          Ankur Abichandani  2 months back

                                                          why was this talk on Ted? Ted is becoming a filler like most things do.

                                                          • Phlegethon
                                                            Phlegethon  2 months back

                                                            Wow I thought this was TedX, but nope this was a Ted talk. That's gotta take some brand reputation hit with this one.

                                                            • Joshua Israel
                                                              Joshua Israel  2 months back

                                                              Always liked the fact I'm tall (6.3) when I was dating, was able to talk to girls way out of my league, including my wife :)

                                                              • Sergio Aguirre
                                                                Sergio Aguirre  2 months back

                                                                Stil not married, no kids, no home....in her 30s lol Bitter cat lady in 5....4.....3....

                                                                • James Allen
                                                                  James Allen  2 months back

                                                                  Yeah, she's done. She just hasn't realized it yet.

                                                              • M B
                                                                M B  3 months back

                                                                3:57 Those are odds a man would kill for... Jokes aside, angry men in the comments need to chill.

                                                                • Troy Zhen
                                                                  Troy Zhen  3 months back

                                                                  Who is this pathetic cat lady?

                                                                  • Norman Szczepanski
                                                                    Norman Szczepanski  3 months back

                                                                    All thoses guys claiming no man gets 1 message a week. I'm not that easy on the eyes and if you're out for blood, you will get some.

                                                                    • VideoTzar19
                                                                      VideoTzar19  3 months back

                                                                      The problem with online dating is it is very skewed towards women. Even a half-decent looking one will get tons of requests from several guys. This gives them the option to be very picky about who they want to go out with . When they finally meet someone chances are high they still have a few other guys on hold in their dating apps. They're not really committed to making a connection or making a serious effort in making the relationship work. They have options.
                                                                      I have seen this first hand with many of my female friends who will go out on dates because the guy they met checked all the boxes on their list but when they met them in person "something" about them made them decide that they should probably keep looking.
                                                                      Tried online dating for a couple of years but never got many dates. After I joined a singles group and went back to the old fashioned route of casual encounters it's been better. Plus I find it much more relaxing to focus on a single person and get to know them rather than have this initial impression from their dating profile that paints them as an amazing person that ends up seeming delusional when you meet them.

                                                                      • Maximilianmus is a cunt
                                                                        Maximilianmus is a cunt  3 months back

                                                                        yeah but at the end of the day, chatting someone up by email/text/app requires minimal effort compared to doing it in real life - that takes cahunas, especially sober

                                                                        low investment generally equals low reward

                                                                        • ASDFGHJKL dfghjhgcgyuigfyuij

                                                                          zero matches for me

                                                                          • Bellock_Grithlus
                                                                            Bellock_Grithlus  3 months back

                                                                            complaining about all the messages she gets? complaining despite that none of the messages are coming from men suitable for her? wow that must be depressing....imagine just being ignored for 8 years or better feeling dead inside from all the rejection. granted i have turned down probably 50 fat single moms in there lait 30's

                                                                            • Mateus Figueiredo
                                                                              Mateus Figueiredo  4 months back

                                                                              Lots of people in the comments didn't understand the idea behind the video. It's not about her getting 200 messages, it's not about gender, it's not about her type and requirements. It's about the zeroth date, and spending 1 hour with the person to see if you click. You can ignore all the rest if it doesn't make sense to you - each person has a different experience. You don't have to be rude in the comments just because you don't get that many messages.

                                                                              • Mateus Figueiredo
                                                                                Mateus Figueiredo  3 months back

                                                                                It does not matter how many matches you get. The idea is the 0th date. If you get a match, go to a 0th date.

                                                                              • Heldarion
                                                                                Heldarion  3 months back

                                                                                She went to 6 (?) 0th dates with over 200 messages. Most men are lucky to receive 6 matches, much less 6 messages. With numbers like that, they can only dream of even setting up a 0th date. That's why her talk is utterly useless for men.

                                                                                Her "Don't write anything sexual" advice is also meh. I'd wager I had almost as much success with sexual messages as with non-sexual ones. And I'm as average looking as it gets.

                                                                            • Josh Eskow
                                                                              Josh Eskow  4 months back

                                                                              I like how 20 seconds into her talk, she proves that short men are one of the last groups it is OK to openly discriminate against and talk about discriminating against them without having to worry about any consequences. Of course, this talk sucked in general, so I guess that's a consequence she'll have to live with. Man this was garbage. I wish I had swiped left.

                                                                              • TrueStuff
                                                                                TrueStuff  4 months back

                                                                                Cheap human.

                                                                                • adanmacreates
                                                                                  adanmacreates  5 months back

                                                                                  So many /nice guys/ in the comments! I wonder why they’re single??

                                                                                  • Alan M
                                                                                    Alan M  5 months back

                                                                                    Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

                                                                                    Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

                                                                                    They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

                                                                                    A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

                                                                                    A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

                                                                                    • Alan M
                                                                                      Alan M  5 months back

                                                                                      You women don't seem to understand. There is a 100 to 1 ratio of men to women on these apps.

                                                                                      • waalex11
                                                                                        waalex11  5 months back

                                                                                        Meh. It's easy for females. I'd like to know the stats and tests from a male.

                                                                                        I never got anything from almost a year from various dating apps and I believe the best are Tinder and Badoo.

                                                                                        Now fortunately I think the Facebook Dating will be the best.

                                                                                        • Heldarion
                                                                                          Heldarion  3 months back

                                                                                          If you've checked out the comment section, you'd have seen what the situation for men is on dating apps: the vast majority gets between 0 and maybe 5 messages/matches. But don't take my word for it. Read this guy's account on what happened when he posed as an attractive dude and as an average dude: https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

                                                                                          Granted, men are doing a lot wrong, such as sending dicks pics (... they literally never work but these room-temperature IQ folks send them anyway) or starting with the most inane "hi". But even if you do send something thoughtful or funny, your chances rise minimally (and the chances are amplified by how attractive you look) - because no matter how thoughtful or funny the message, she will first try to go for the more attractive guys ANYWAY.

                                                                                          Now, let's say the woman actually reads the funny message you sent and decides to response. The typical response: "Haha!" "Lol" "that's funny :D". The level of investment in those replies is so low they might as well not have replied at all. The conversation is expected to be started, ran and finished by the guy. Because if the guy doesn't do it, there will be no conversation and no date beyond that, because the woman will just drop the guy like a hot potato and find another dude among her plentiful options who will do that, while she does next to nothing (but don't worry, she won't unmatch you, the ego boost from having that match on top of dozens of others is still too big for her to pass on). That's the power of supply and demand for you. Women receive a lot of investment and produce next to no interest. Because they don't have to.

                                                                                          It's even more frustrating for guys because the woman in this video says "Don't send anything sexual" yet I could swear my success with sexual openers has been about as good as with non-sexual ones. It's impossible to tell what's going to work and if it failed, you won't receive any feedback so you don't even know why it failed (if it "failed" at all and she just didn't read your message for whatever reason), but at the same time, most guys don't have the sheer availability of numbers to test what works and what doesn't. The only remaining option is to risk more, but that is even more likely to backfire spectacularly.

                                                                                          That's my rant about my experience with online dating (Tinder, OKCupid, HotOrNot, ...). The net result in a year of it has been a couple of first dates (<10) that never amounted to anything more (pretty much always because the women were disinterested, except for like once) and a single ONS which was such a massive outlier to everything else I've experienced in this regard that it felt like I won lottery.

                                                                                          You mention Facebook dating and a friend of mine hyped it a lot too. But I don't see how it's going to be much better. Women will still go for the top 20% of their options, regardless of how limited.

                                                                                          tl;dr - You're better of developing your interests and social skills and approaching women in real life (it also makes for better stories to share with your friends).

                                                                                      • Geeky Lion
                                                                                        Geeky Lion  6 months back

                                                                                        if you're unattractive male, you're not getting anywhere. nuff' said. Men compliment women in a respectful manner these days, they're now "creepy" social media killed dating. folks, go out to a dinner , look around and see how many couples /families are on phones..... btw, YOU MORONS QUIT ASKING WOMEN FOR NUDE PHOTOS YOU DUMB FUCKS!