The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

  • Published: 07 November 2016
  • Link to 3 ways to start a conversation video:

    The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

    There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter.

    That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like.

    And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship

    0:51 Trying to contact them every single day
    2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up
    3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs

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Comments • 1 745

  • Amanda Jacobs
    Amanda Jacobs  2 days back

    Why aren't guys more... Charismatic o.o well.. if they were they'd probably use the power for evil so - eh

    • Crichjo32
      Crichjo32  2 days back

      Wish I watched this a couple of days ago.

      • Skerion
        Skerion  23 hours back

        Damn thats tough relatable

    • Kyler Quirk
      Kyler Quirk  3 days back

      you're talking about neediness like it can happen to anyone. good to know. liked.

      • Justin Edwards
        Justin Edwards  4 days back

        Love all of this, but beware of girls that are flakey and are scared to commit to anything. Great video thank you

        • Mélora Colissan
          Mélora Colissan  5 days back

          How can a girl throw a man with such a smile ?!? I break an ovary each time he opens his mouth. 😍

          • Mattias Nordblom
            Mattias Nordblom  1 weeks back

            how any couple ever has been established, i will never know.

            • L
              L  2 weeks back

              all these videos always teach you to play mind games. My personal advice is if you meet the right person, you absolutely don't need to play any games.

              • Guilherme Eduardo Carvalho

                I'm needy, don't judge me

                • Lava Yuki
                  Lava Yuki  4 weeks back

                  I remember I was on the receiving end in uni. There was a guy who always messaged me and wanted to hang out, I was oblivious and went along with it for a while until the his neediness got annoying and I ended up running away. Clinginess is really annoying for anyone

                  • Theo RixLux
                    Theo RixLux  4 weeks back


                    • David Smith
                      David Smith  1 months back

                      I've made this mistake, but never learned from it 'til now (thanks to you).

                      • ria ria
                        ria ria  1 months back

                        Contacting daily may looks like being creepy..

                        • Alida Green
                          Alida Green  1 months back

                          I've only ever ended up in a relationship with people Ive been exposed to over a long period of time. That means I've had 4 relationships and 3 were coworkers. Gotta stop with the coworkers but idk how to meet people any other way. Def not throwing myself to the wolves on a dating app.

                          • Skerion
                            Skerion  23 hours back

                            Go to any public place really amusement parks,malls,bars,parties,clubs etc

                        • fae ragan
                          fae ragan  1 months back

                          Not being attractive is the biggest mistake a guy can make when it comes to dating. For so long I was trying to get a girl to date me when I was unattractive. Thankfully one of my friends told me this was the wrong approach and so I tried being attractive the next time I asked a girl out and she said yes. Guys, just be attractive, it worked for me.

                          • Amir J
                            Amir J  1 months back

                            Man you've got some big hands bro

                            • Jaz Lacoste
                              Jaz Lacoste  1 months back

                              I see now what I've been doing wrong, thank you

                              • Renzokuken
                                Renzokuken  1 months back

                                I actually did ALL of these mistake on an single person. No wonder it didn't work out lol

                                • Sumun Golam
                                  Sumun Golam  1 months back

                                  omg the "checking the phone every minute" is the worst... i have so many things to do but i keep getting distracted...

                                  • Hulurium l
                                    Hulurium l  1 months back

                                    Im to unneedy

                                    • Aaron Klapheck
                                      Aaron Klapheck  2 months back

                                      This is also where dating multiple people comes in handy. Don't be too dependent on any one person.

                                      • anthony ward
                                        anthony ward  2 months back

                                        i've already figured out a lot of these things from watching a tonne of other relationship advice videos and know that i did pretty much all of these and it really did kill our relationship. Discovered I have an anxious attachment style and that its something i can slowly work on. Its also something a lot of people learn naturally over the course of many failed/attempted relationships but I didn't really start dating until my mid to late 20's and only really had 2 "relationships" so whilst im at the age where i should "have figured all this stuff out by now" I'm really far behind the curve and have no idea what im supposed to do.
                                        hoping that the next time I get to try I've "fixed" a lot of these issues and can make things work a bit better.

                                        • Layladventures Here
                                          Layladventures Here  2 months back

                                          If you’re needy by nature the cure for you is dating multiple people at the same time, that s way you’ll spread the neediness and that way your neediness with never be on one person, it’ll be spread out lol trust me it works! Never focus on one person early on on one person!!!!!

                                          • ncs2000
                                            ncs2000  2 months back

                                            how many girls rejected you?

                                            • Kimberlea McCall
                                              Kimberlea McCall  2 months back

                                              My word his mouth is big.

                                              • Daniel Andrei Rusu
                                                Daniel Andrei Rusu  2 months back

                                                Is this story too perfect to be true?

                                                • Wind Maker
                                                  Wind Maker  2 months back

                                                  This should be comment sense. Guys should never chase girls. Let them chase you.

                                                  • JokerCrowe
                                                    JokerCrowe  2 months back

                                                    This is good advice for all kinds of relationships, I've never dated, but I've had friendships that have had the aspects of all three of these. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was the other person, but they don't just happen in dating.

                                                    • June H
                                                      June H  2 months back

                                                      Wait, she kept flaking out every day and SHE thought YOU screwed up?

                                                      • Dz Duice Kyl Lerre
                                                        Dz Duice Kyl Lerre  2 months back

                                                        I did all of them. All the time! How greater can I be?

                                                        • matxp4
                                                          matxp4  2 months back

                                                          Charlie, thank you very much. Litteraly this was just what I needed to hear. Love your videos, keep the great job.

                                                          • Yeet Yeet On The Street
                                                            Yeet Yeet On The Street  2 months back

                                                            Aye bro thanks so much my friends threw me a lob with this girl that’s into me too and we’re all gonna go out monday I hope it goes well and now I’m prepared wish me luck 😭

                                                            • AMANDAbolic
                                                              AMANDAbolic  2 months back

                                                              Really enjoyed these tips! Thanks!

                                                              • ArkonPT
                                                                ArkonPT  2 months back

                                                                You're the man, really. Thanks!

                                                                • J. Elington
                                                                  J. Elington  2 months back

                                                                  Yikes!!! Soooooooo meeeeeee!

                                                                  • Anonymous Lee
                                                                    Anonymous Lee  3 months back

                                                                    Dating gets a lot harder when you work full-time, it's like just finding time to meet up is this grand production. Especially if you and your date have different work schedules. Kinda forces me not to be super needy.

                                                                    • Shafer Hart
                                                                      Shafer Hart  3 months back

                                                                      8:43 was that even necessary? Is the world a better place now because current discourse _forced_ you to include that addendum (as if it wasn't obvious)? Are you happy now, SJWs?

                                                                      • Kevin Garcia
                                                                        Kevin Garcia  4 weeks back

                                                                        So is he supposed to just never mention the fact that some women and gays might watch his videos? You anti-SJW cultists are a bunch of sensitive little snowflakes, so much so that you make SJWs seem reasonable.

                                                                    • wirth6
                                                                      wirth6  3 months back

                                                                      To me the first story sounds like she was never really interested to begin with.

                                                                      • Paul
                                                                        Paul  3 months back

                                                                        How much soy do I need?

                                                                        • MrBeatboxmasta
                                                                          MrBeatboxmasta  3 months back

                                                                          Flaking on friends to meet please your partner is my #1 pet peeve with friend who are in a relationship. I tell those people to just let me know when they want to do something and I stop being the one who invites them. When they feel left out, I tell them it's because they are not reliable.

                                                                          • Alexi Hamilton
                                                                            Alexi Hamilton  3 months back

                                                                            Okay. Here’s an old dating rule from my mom’s time that I think applies here. When someone asks you out on a date, it needs to be three days before the date happens. So if someone asks you out on Thursday to go out Friday, it’s no go because it was only one day before the day of the date in question and therefore less than three days. What you say is that you wish you could, but that you’re busy that day. The person asking you out then respects you and your time more and will most likely ask you out in advance next time. I don’t agree with all of the old dating rules, but this one has some merit to it.

                                                                            • Gerardo de Iriarte
                                                                              Gerardo de Iriarte  3 months back

                                                                              Excellent advice!

                                                                              • Karlan Meyers
                                                                                Karlan Meyers  3 months back

                                                                                I’m in a relationship of a few months a we text every single day. I tell her I miss her all the time.

                                                                                • Big Ray
                                                                                  Big Ray  3 months back

                                                                                  Treat em mean. Keep em keen

                                                                                  • Aichurok Turgunbaeva
                                                                                    Aichurok Turgunbaeva  3 months back

                                                                                    It’s true 🙁

                                                                                    • Vaida Robert
                                                                                      Vaida Robert  3 months back

                                                                                      First one scared me too. Damn was I stupid:))

                                                                                      • Layarion
                                                                                        Layarion  3 months back

                                                                                        1:45 "you blew it" ...honestly, i don't know about that. she might have changed her mind about you, being nothing to do about you, and just canceled the dates because she didn't wan to take responsibility and say so.

                                                                                        • Jake Grunwald
                                                                                          Jake Grunwald  3 months back

                                                                                          Anyone else fuck things up?

                                                                                          • Max Ljunggren
                                                                                            Max Ljunggren  3 months back

                                                                                            thank you this probably saved my relationship with my best friend