The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

  • Published: 07 November 2016
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    The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

    There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter.

    That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like.

    And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship

    0:51 Trying to contact them every single day
    2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up
    3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs

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Comments • 1 745

  • minhnhn
    minhnhn  4 days back

    why am I watching this even when Im single

    • Hugh Jos
      Hugh Jos  4 days back

      Watching this before I text a girl back

      • Red 6
        Red 6  5 days back

        This might seem a bit odd, but the reason why I have problems dating someone is because I have way too much free time. There is like a 1% chance that a girl would like to meet with me on a particular day and I wouldn't have time for her. Which is frustrating. Everyone around me seems so busy with their lives and I am like "hey, I've got my 8 hours after work everyday, who thinks I am cool?". I hate it. I hate myself for having so little interests. On top of that I like to spend a lot of time alone, but how do you explain that to someone?
        "Let's meet on Wednesday"
        "Sorry, I can't."
        "Because I like to be alone and do nothing on Wednesdays."
        I don't want to make up things just to make the impression that I am also busy. Because I am really not. It all goes down to the fact that I am unable to find any hobbies I guess. Screw my boring life.

        • Golden Studios
          Golden Studios  5 days back

          Thanks now I’m gonna fix things with my boyfriend

          • mia moore
            mia moore  5 days back

            Wow! That's so helpful. Honestly thank you.

            • FSuixo
              FSuixo  5 days back

              Oh wow!!! Had I seen this video like 3 months ago.

              I just fucked up the relationship I had with this girl, the more wonderful, fun and sexiest girl ever because for once in my life, I fell in such a way that I was the one that was actuall needy one :(

              All that those mistakes you said... I've done'em.

              In the end she told me, I just don't like you there way you like me and thus I am not comfortable with keeping our relationship this way.

              Dude.. love is unfair. I'll stick with your advice for this new girl I am seeing now.

              • Patrick Guzman
                Patrick Guzman  6 days back

                does "trying to contact them every single day" also count without actually seeing each other? like just texting or calling

                • TheB
                  TheB  6 days back

                  So what if the person just never calls you or reaches out to spend time with you? How do you get them to respect your time if they never interact

                  • Kenneth Pocasangre
                    Kenneth Pocasangre  7 days back

                    I honestly wish I could have seen this two years ago -_- lol

                    • Kenny Pineapple
                      Kenny Pineapple  7 days back

                      I’m sorry but you look high asf in the thumbnail

                      • Claudio Maldonado Salvador

                        Am I the only one who thinks that he's really good looking?

                        • lim hawk
                          lim hawk  1 weeks back

                          I am embarrassed to say that I am that needy guy. I just never thought I was that kind of person.

                          • Nyota Grantt
                            Nyota Grantt  1 weeks back

                            Yeah...i rather stay single 😂 less stress, issues, & more self care!💗

                            • Janel Agasse
                              Janel Agasse  1 weeks back

                              dude... just stop playing games. be yourself. when you finally win the girl by faking it, trust me, it will be more messy. you'll be forced to fake it until you crumble and the whole relationship crumbles. so what if a person is needy? so what if a person is accommodating to someone's available time? come on. there's nothing wrong with those things. the right one will like those things about you. might be hard to meet them but trust me, it will be worth it.

                              • Hud .Hud
                                Hud .Hud  2 weeks back

                                I just think much of the dating world is all due to a lack of clear cut communication! Since hitting my 30's, I'm done with all these games, I just tell them, I like you 1,2 and 3 do you feel the same? Yes/no, the right person will feel relieved. Clinginess is annoying, especially if I haven't decided if I like them.

                                • BigCityPalooka
                                  BigCityPalooka  2 weeks back

                                  Your first tip was proven very true for me. Except the relationship went on for two years. But when it ended — badly — I found that, because I had redefined many of my pleasures in life as being filtered through her  (I'm an artist; she is as well) , my connection to my work, through which I get a huge portion of my pleasure in life, had completely disappeared. Which left me in a very bad state. Many months later, I'm still slowly reconnecting the wires. Oy vey. Thus... your point is well taken. Great work. Best of luck to you!

                                  • chari Muvilla
                                    chari Muvilla  2 weeks back

                                    Even though these are true you aren't considering that you are needy when the other person isn't that interested in you. Putting me on the defense, for example, if a cute girl I really like was needy, that wouldn't ruin our relationship. I would tell her that I need some space etc but that's about it. I used to be very needy but this didn't ruin the real friendships I had. But still it was annoying so I eventually fixed it.

                                    • Spooky Spectre
                                      Spooky Spectre  2 weeks back

                                      Aw I can tell you're a sweet guy. I'm sorry to hear you had to figure all these things the hard way (like I did). Its a shame we all cant just be honest about how we feel with people we like. So many games to navigate. Still appreciate your videos. Hopefully it will help honest sweet people like us avoid being taken advantage of by selfish jerks.

                                      • Klepnoth
                                        Klepnoth  2 weeks back

                                        -Hey. Wanna get laid?
                                        -wow, I didn't saw that coming...

                                        • bryce902
                                          bryce902  2 weeks back

                                          This channel is absolute gold

                                        • Jacob Davidson
                                          Jacob Davidson  3 weeks back

                                          Great advice, can relate to it right away.

                                          • Stefanos Ziogas
                                            Stefanos Ziogas  3 weeks back

                                            simple rule of thumb. If it feels like you have to work for it or even worse force it then it's not right. People in my country say "even priests get bored by too much praying"

                                            • scott Wallace
                                              scott Wallace  3 weeks back

                                              Hehehe hey mama u wanna third wheel w me and my friend 😂

                                              • scott Wallace
                                                scott Wallace  3 weeks back

                                                I just sit on my porch all night smoking and drinking coffee if my girl dose not wanna play that’s on her tbh

                                                • 1GoldRunner
                                                  1GoldRunner  3 weeks back

                                                  I turned up my volume, heard a tiny voice, turned up the volume more and realized it was the presenter. O_O

                                                  • Kristen Nerison
                                                    Kristen Nerison  3 weeks back

                                                    I believe this message is universal and applies to all types of relationships. It's about having healthy boundaries and respecting yourself and your time, as you stated.

                                                    • Guilherme Oliveira
                                                      Guilherme Oliveira  4 weeks back

                                                      If i had seen this video a month ago, i think that i wouldn't be single now :')

                                                      • McZidanne
                                                        McZidanne  4 weeks back

                                                        Aaah sorry, can't Friday.

                                                        I gotta close my fridge door.

                                                        • David Kelly
                                                          David Kelly  1 months back

                                                          how do you win their interest back?

                                                          • Florence
                                                            Florence  1 months back

                                                            Thanks for the advice, your videos have helped me do a lot of thinking.

                                                            • Sarah Beauvais
                                                              Sarah Beauvais  1 months back

                                                              From my perspective as a young woman saying "you know you want to" is an instant giant red flag. It makes it sounds like that person thinks they know what you want better than you do. It sounds very narsasistic even if it wasn't intended that way. A good response would to throw in a compliment depending on the girl you can tease her about being miss popular and say you'll catch her later.

                                                              • Jagoda Tomczak
                                                                Jagoda Tomczak  1 months back

                                                                Man I think I've already blown it with a guy I'm interested in then, and have been blowing it for years at a time. This really opened my eyes to my mistakes

                                                                • Evil Smile
                                                                  Evil Smile  1 months back

                                                                  The Biggest Mistakes In Dating.

                                                                  Being true to yourself.

                                                                  • Thiago Abdalla
                                                                    Thiago Abdalla  1 months back

                                                                    I will be listening to this everyday until I get it right :p

                                                                    • François Cardinaud
                                                                      François Cardinaud  1 months back

                                                                      Great advice!

                                                                      • lyman outloud
                                                                        lyman outloud  1 months back

                                                                        I am 29 and have been dating for 15 years. I have had alot of success. but somehow I do something that messes it up or the other person is just so insecure. it happens every time. I have tried everything. its now at the point where I cant respect myself because I wanna give up on this idea of "love".

                                                                        • Allison Miller
                                                                          Allison Miller  1 months back

                                                                          This dude is literally encouraging you to play games, rather than learning how to deal with rejection in a healthy way.

                                                                          • Kristóf Kovács
                                                                            Kristóf Kovács  1 months back

                                                                            I also experienced this... I tried to be "flexible", but this just ruined my mood and later the relationship too.
                                                                            I think these are really good advices.

                                                                            • Nicholas Jarrett
                                                                              Nicholas Jarrett  1 months back

                                                                              His mouth is so big

                                                                              • Deshawn Lane
                                                                                Deshawn Lane  2 months back

                                                                                Who eles is like 10 or 13

                                                                                • Moonlight Edits
                                                                                  Moonlight Edits  2 months back

                                                                                  When a person mistreats service staff on a date, remember that they are on their best behavior. Once they are sure of you, they will treat you much worse.

                                                                                  • milena jankovic
                                                                                    milena jankovic  2 months back

                                                                                    One day u will maybe live with that person...

                                                                                    • Dillon Lin
                                                                                      Dillon Lin  2 months back

                                                                                      How long should you be in a relationship when you should be slightly more flexible on availability?

                                                                                      • General_Buttcrack _Naked
                                                                                        General_Buttcrack _Naked  2 months back

                                                                                        Then you get married to that person who does not want to get bugged all the time then next thing you know the tables turned and she wont leave you alone

                                                                                        • Amanda Jacobs
                                                                                          Amanda Jacobs  2 months back

                                                                                          Why aren't guys more... Charismatic o.o well.. if they were they'd probably use the power for evil so - eh

                                                                                          • Crichjo32
                                                                                            Crichjo32  2 months back

                                                                                            Wish I watched this a couple of days ago.

                                                                                            • Skerion
                                                                                              Skerion  2 months back

                                                                                              Damn thats tough relatable

                                                                                          • Kyler Quirk
                                                                                            Kyler Quirk  2 months back

                                                                                            you're talking about neediness like it can happen to anyone. good to know. liked.

                                                                                            • Justin Edwards
                                                                                              Justin Edwards  2 months back

                                                                                              Love all of this, but beware of girls that are flakey and are scared to commit to anything. Great video thank you