How To Skip the Small Talk and Connect With Anyone | Kalina Silverman | TEDxWestminsterCollege


Comments • 3 696

  • Mukesh Prjapt
    Mukesh Prjapt  1 days back


    • Maverick
      Maverick  2 days back

      Has she tried her method in an Islamic/Muslim dominated area of a town or city? And......what of humour?

      • Fat Freddy
        Fat Freddy  2 days back

        So many more variables to this. Having a pretty woman walk up to you and spark up a conversation is welcomed by most people. Put a guy like me in there and watch people walk past me with no comment. Heck I don't get the chance to partake in small talk. She will see things differently in 25 years, trust me.

        • Josh G
          Josh G  2 days back

          Who cares about the process get to the point God damn.

          • Akiko Hirai
            Akiko Hirai  2 days back

            Why do people always assume that you have to make a change and everything have to be meaningful? Life solves most of the problems as you accept it and enjoy what you have right now? Big questions comes naturally when the relationship between people matured. I love the lightness of being.

            • Hebrews5:12
              Hebrews5:12  2 days back

              *John 15:*  19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

              • 1nmc1975
                1nmc1975  2 days back

                And um

                • Randy Travis
                  Randy Travis  3 days back

                  I think we use small talk to learn the basics about the person we are talking to, what mood are they in, are they open to talking, which "tribe" they belong to, and also allow them to learn about us to let them decide if they feel comfortable opening up their ideas.. We learn allot from every action, facial expression, eye contact. Then we choose based on the experience what topics are worth asking, and if a deeper conversation would be rewarding or not.
                  In her video she obviously had allot of small talk before the interviews explaining what she was doing. The answers would be allot different if she just walked up without a camera and started asking people about their goals before death.. The person wouldn't feel comfortable opening up to someone whos intentions are unknown.. a little small talk could fix that.

                  • Patrick Ny
                    Patrick Ny  3 days back

                    This all stinks of an excuse to get on stage and seek attention. She spoke a lot but said very little. Don’t waste your time

                    • ben arellano
                      ben arellano  3 days back

                      Small talk is essential. Its like a plow preparing the ground for the seeds

                      • Helen N
                        Helen N  4 days back


                        • Fred Schwentafsky
                          Fred Schwentafsky  4 days back

                          The u.s. is an empty country......

                          • Randy Compton
                            Randy Compton  4 days back

                            I just started watching TED talks I thought they were supposed to feature intelligent people teaching other people things I'm seeing more and more that aren't that yet they banned Graham Hancock's talk

                            • Randy Compton
                              Randy Compton  4 days back

                              For real I don't see these encounters going the same if she did not have a camera let me walk up to a stranger and ask them what do they want to do before they die without a camera and they're f****** going to run to the cops

                              • Sazy Plew
                                Sazy Plew  4 days back

                                This video fails to fully meet the title...there was the potential for so much more meaning, depth, and opportunity to convert actionable content, but instead it’s a waste of 20 minutes.

                                • Arthur Asulyan
                                  Arthur Asulyan  4 days back

                                  "Sounds good, doesn't work"

                                  • Just Another one
                                    Just Another one  5 days back

                                    I don't like life. It's meaningless.

                                    • Bill Thebax
                                      Bill Thebax  5 days back

                                      20 wasted seconds

                                      • The Reddit Rabbit
                                        The Reddit Rabbit  5 days back

                                        Lol nobody even asked me to take a picture together in my first year trip of college meanwhile they all took a shitton of pictures together without me

                                        • Michelle Hodgson
                                          Michelle Hodgson  6 days back

                                          Luv this concept! 🙂

                                          • ANNETTE LINWOOD
                                            ANNETTE LINWOOD  1 weeks back

                                            Before you feed the world.... Learn to feed yourself

                                            • Positive Leonine
                                              Positive Leonine  1 weeks back

                                              Skip to 9:00 if you want the direct message

                                              • VJ Vousden
                                                VJ Vousden  1 weeks back

                                                There is obviously a human need. And it IS universal. And I love this idea as the small talk, shallowness, drives me nuts! We all share so much, we just keep it hidden because no one asks us and we feel it's not right to share. And I want those cards!

                                                • RAM6IX 22
                                                  RAM6IX 22  2 weeks back

                                                  Off camera and where I live , asking people what they want to do before they die could end up differently. I may die 😂
                                                  Edit : small talk are actually better when starting a conversation or even a relationship , that's why you don't give birth to a baby with man/woman and then get to know each other . Everything starts small and then grow big . It's not the other way around .

                                                  • catbird
                                                    catbird  3 weeks back

                                                    I'm sure she's CEO of her own tech company by now.

                                                    • Scott Butler
                                                      Scott Butler  3 weeks back

                                                      Interesting...we already know this is about your idea, how many times can you own it. The overuse of the word "I" is annoying. It takes away from the lecture, but, hopefully, gives the lady the validation she is seeking. How long do chapters of her life take? The book may be thick, however, only having 5 chapters makes for a boring grandma

                                                      • Atlas Hugged
                                                        Atlas Hugged  3 weeks back

                                                        “What do you want to do before you die?”
                                                        It’s not creepy when a girl asks this.

                                                        • Riverdeepnwide
                                                          Riverdeepnwide  3 weeks back

                                                          Too much small talk.

                                                          • Dreamzs1
                                                            Dreamzs1  3 weeks back

                                                            The problem is not just anyone cares or understands. If we atleast have respect for one another and small talk then it's good.

                                                            • Rin Molton
                                                              Rin Molton  3 weeks back

                                                              As an autistic, this is just what I've been doing anyway. I cannot understand small talk at all, I always need something deeper to talk about.

                                                              • Miftee Alam
                                                                Miftee Alam  4 weeks back

                                                                She is very cute!

                                                                • Hazkeel Qureshi
                                                                  Hazkeel Qureshi  4 weeks back

                                                                  who cutting onions between 00:11:00 and 00:12:50

                                                                  • Sar mara
                                                                    Sar mara  1 months back

                                                                    Before I die I want to be a peacemaker,help and serve because the best among us are those who serve without waiting for something in change .

                                                                    • Peter Von Blake
                                                                      Peter Von Blake  1 months back

                                                                      I like the concept but this talk falls flat unfortunately.

                                                                      • jules
                                                                        jules  1 months back

                                                                        A man can do the very same, I used to meet 50 new peoples a day or get 10 numbers a day when I was younger, it was more to have fun than to hookup :) , make them laught, compliment only what you do think, make peoples connect together if you are at a bar talk to the one at your left and make him talk to the one at your right, in some place like Paris peoples tend to be self absorbed and not connecting well with strangers but in so many places peoples are usually easy going and curious.. Be benevolent, have good energy so peoples know from instinct you aren't there for dodgy business.. Each conversation should be unique, it has to come out naturally and adapt to the one you speak with, even if general questions such as where are you from give you information regarding that person, the spoken languages, and cultural.. If you do not connect with someone skip to someone else, peoples are everywhere..

                                                                        • Charles Victoria
                                                                          Charles Victoria  1 months back

                                                                          What do I want to do before I die?

                                                                          Everything on my desires / bucket list.

                                                                          • Sirena Spades
                                                                            Sirena Spades  1 months back

                                                                            Typical college student change the world stuff.

                                                                            • Kelly Stucker
                                                                              Kelly Stucker  1 months back

                                                                              Whew! Tear jerker!❤️

                                                                              • Adara Relgnel
                                                                                Adara Relgnel  1 months back

                                                                                Mmmm shes so awkward 😖😖😖

                                                                                • luvpurple95
                                                                                  luvpurple95  1 months back

                                                                                  Small talk is boring but its essential to gaining a little bit of info to transition into “BIG” talk? Big talk to me is figuring out peoples idiosyncrasies and why they do what they do and where did it come from? Investigating their opinions, values, likes, motivations, dreams, and so on is what big talk is to me. Small talk is just being cordial and maybe it will lead into big talk. No need to force everything.

                                                                                  • Juan Pablo Herrera
                                                                                    Juan Pablo Herrera  1 months back

                                                                                    Quite long intro, but worth watching!

                                                                                    • Bob Owen
                                                                                      Bob Owen  1 months back

                                                                                      This youngster has plenty of territory to improve. Talk is mostly about me. More me. Me. Me. Me, then some more Me. Title information part begins @ 9:40. Ask questions if you can remember to that, then be or act interested in their replies.

                                                                                      • Oscar Rodriguez
                                                                                        Oscar Rodriguez  1 months back

                                                                                        I'm going to do a Ted video called "no talk". It will be really short, I'll say a couple words. I've got this skill mastered.

                                                                                        • Larry Knovak
                                                                                          Larry Knovak  2 months back

                                                                                          What's with the small talk?
                                                                                          Does she ever get to the point?

                                                                                          • Adam Saidman
                                                                                            Adam Saidman  2 months back

                                                                                            She is a cutie, UMMM what did she say!

                                                                                            • Mou Anas
                                                                                              Mou Anas  2 months back

                                                                                              11:14 the one that got away. Her face lit up thinking about him

                                                                                              • Mot En
                                                                                                Mot En  2 months back

                                                                                                How many times she said "and umm" 😴

                                                                                                • Mot En
                                                                                                  Mot En  2 months back

                                                                                                  I couldnt count

                                                                                              • Captain Charisma
                                                                                                Captain Charisma  2 months back

                                                                                                Pretend for a moment she's just your run of the mill narcissistic with it...think about it ...and bingo :)