Why do we get crushes? | Isabelle O'Carroll | TEDxBrixton

  • Published: 06 December 2015
  • Self-confessed ‘crush addict’ Isabelle discusses her theory on crushes and why we have them. In this fun and witty talk, Isabelle looks at the spectrum of crushes, some of the mad things we do in the name of a crush and gets to the heart of how and why they can turn into infatuation.

    Isabelle O’Carroll is a London-born fashion and lifestyle writer; she writes for BuzzFeed, The Pool, The Debrief, her work has also appeared on guardian.com and in Grazia.

    As well as writing, Isabelle consults for fashion brands; the Telegraph called her “one of Britain’s best fashion bloggers” and Vogue have featured her on the Online Fashion 100. She has also spoken at Southbank’s Women of the World festival this year.
    Follow her on Twitter: @IsabelleOC

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 283

  • meron avisar
    meron avisar  8 hours back


      PAUL THOMSON  3 days back

      she certainly has a strange nose; it flexes at the end - or is that an optical illusion?

      • TheOneTheyCallFig
        TheOneTheyCallFig  2 weeks back

        seeing this in my recommended was a
        and i oop
        kind of moment

        • Nancy
          Nancy  2 weeks back

          ok but they need to honestly do one on mixed signals... because sometimes being rejected hurts when the person you think that likes you kept sending all the "right" signals

          • CrystalKatt 54
            CrystalKatt 54  3 weeks back

            My crush has a crush on me too, but neither of us are brave enough to say it 😂

            • Sara_Lemon_Drop
              Sara_Lemon_Drop  4 weeks back

              My crush is my friend who happens to like my BEST FRIEND

              • xfangirlalwayz
                xfangirlalwayz  1 months back

                Anyone else have an obsessive crush on someone who’s taken? Can’t help it... I feel like he’s always in the back of my mind literally 24/7. Two years and counting... make it stop ;(

                • Ahmed Salar
                  Ahmed Salar  1 months back

                  How did a discussion about crush become a discussion about female repression? Feminists really get on my nerves. I mean if a whole room was filled with feminists and a girl liked a guy, she still wouldn't make the first move. And these are "proper" feminists I'm talking about.

                  • that's mY OPINION
                    that's mY OPINION  1 months back

                    Welp, cuando te gusta una chica siendo tú misma una no hay de otra que dar la iniciativa tú, en especial cuando estas en la universidad y hacen grupos para todo

                    • Aves
                      Aves  2 months back

                      The woman burning bits of photos was just creating air pollution😂

                      • Mis Kay
                        Mis Kay  2 months back

                        i always feel like im not attractive enough for my crushes so i just dont approach them cuz im scared of getting rejected LOLL

                        • Gamma Digamma
                          Gamma Digamma  2 months back

                          Totally agree with the distraction part of it...

                          • zucc for v buck
                            zucc for v buck  2 months back

                            the rhubarb one was actually kinda cute 🥰🤣

                            • Kalla Kalla
                              Kalla Kalla  2 months back

                              TEDTalks make me feel intelligent

                              • Paul Edelstein
                                Paul Edelstein  2 months back

                                Unrequited love a love that lasts forever

                                • DANG JOS
                                  DANG JOS  2 months back

                                  I'm just going to go ahead and list all of the crushes I can think of past and present (celebrity type):
                                  Ashanti, Lanisha Cole, Lauren Daigle, Keke Palmer, ASMR Attack.

                                  • weisi ang
                                    weisi ang  2 months back

                                    so basically crushes are just simple attraction gone intense when not making a move?

                                    • Trinity Cherry
                                      Trinity Cherry  3 months back

                                      So no head?

                                      • Mars Horner
                                        Mars Horner  3 months back

                                        Did she actually answer the question of why we get crushes though

                                        • Angie B Simmons
                                          Angie B Simmons  3 months back

                                          Hate this feeling knowing she isn't into me and has a girlfriend. I need to move pass this

                                          • Brianna martinez
                                            Brianna martinez  3 months back

                                            having your crush like you back................hmm wonder what the feels like???

                                            • Auntie Pork
                                              Auntie Pork  3 months back

                                              Im learning Korean to impress my crush....

                                              • Keely Kratz
                                                Keely Kratz  3 months back

                                                The good thing about being demisexual

                                                • kumaravel devarajan
                                                  kumaravel devarajan  3 months back

                                                  Women have more crush than boys !!really😨

                                                  • TonyThatOrc
                                                    TonyThatOrc  3 months back

                                                    A crush is fun and a great distraction before they get a boyfriend... :(

                                                    • Kiera Edwards
                                                      Kiera Edwards  3 months back

                                                      My crush goes out with mg bestfreind 😭😭😭💔💔

                                                      • Jungkookiefan R
                                                        Jungkookiefan R  3 months back

                                                        Worst things about having crush: telling ur friends about it

                                                      • Friendlyneighborhoodmike
                                                        Friendlyneighborhoodmike  4 months back

                                                        I learned French in middle school for my crush that I never saw after 8th grade.

                                                        • Samantha Mercedes Staff
                                                          Samantha Mercedes Staff  4 months back

                                                          Beautifully put

                                                          • Jonas Bar
                                                            Jonas Bar  4 months back

                                                            I'm developing a crush on her

                                                            • Meghan D
                                                              Meghan D  4 months back

                                                              "Nobody gets a mild crush?"
                                                              I get mild crushes on every other person I meet

                                                              • subhradeep halder
                                                                subhradeep halder  4 months back

                                                                I have been searching for this question I have been addicted to getting crush

                                                                • htownshawn
                                                                  htownshawn  4 months back

                                                                  7 years on mine. my life is over. no one can compare to her & i compare everyone to her. red zone forever

                                                                  • Brooklyn T
                                                                    Brooklyn T  4 months back

                                                                    I have such a big crush on this guy, we know each other fairly much, our families are super close so he treats me like his annoying sister. It hurts, definitely when I see him walk around with his shirt off. I dreamed what it would be like if I looked different, so I had confidence, and asked him out. I sound crazy, but he is a good guy underneath (his abs), I don’t know what to do.
                                                                    I can’t tell him how I feel because it is quite obvious he doesn’t feel the same, and it would be so awkward!
                                                                    Any ideas on what i should do?

                                                                    • Sarahjane Looney
                                                                      Sarahjane Looney  4 months back

                                                                      Or, hear me out, could it be signs of borderline personality disorder in extreme cases? 🧐

                                                                      • kaia
                                                                        kaia  4 months back

                                                                        watching this I was just thinking oh my fcking god I’ve done the LinkedIn thing

                                                                        • Holy Shnitzel
                                                                          Holy Shnitzel  4 months back

                                                                          I’m in a crush predicament. He likes me and I like him and I know he likes me but he doesn’t know I know or that I like him back, and I am toooooooooo shy to ever say to someone I like em, so it’s gonna remain like this forever🙂

                                                                          • Clement
                                                                            Clement  3 months back

                                                                            Don´t be shy, just tell him. He will like it!

                                                                        • Anthony Good
                                                                          Anthony Good  4 months back

                                                                          How should a guy first message a girl on a dating app? Should he use her name to make it less "cut and paste" sounding? Of the few girls I have gone out with, most messaged me first (which I find odd given the number of messages I've sent to girls.) And their first messages were often just "Hey".

                                                                          • TheFallenScathed
                                                                            TheFallenScathed  4 months back

                                                                            I was expecting maybe some research on attachment disorder or infatuation, maybe the negative impacts on the type of obsessive and possessive tendencies of some males who have a crush but call it something else.

                                                                            • pizzannn
                                                                              pizzannn  4 months back

                                                                              "Tasteful-looking Scandinavian rug"

                                                                              • imon bannerjee
                                                                                imon bannerjee  4 months back

                                                                                I have a crush on her

                                                                                • Lassic
                                                                                  Lassic  4 months back

                                                                                  Came here to learn why we get crushes and I end up getting another cry for gender equality. AND she didn't answer the title of the video. She just talked about her experiences with crushes and didn't really teach us anything new in my oppinion.

                                                                                  • fear ne
                                                                                    fear ne  5 months back

                                                                                    dude my crush is my friend tho

                                                                                    • zucc for v buck
                                                                                      zucc for v buck  2 months back

                                                                                      fear ne literally same 😂

                                                                                    • fear ne
                                                                                      fear ne  5 months back

                                                                                      and he’s single and kinda flirts with me sometimes ???? he doesn’t like me tho oof but that’s probably why i like him bc he’s flirty

                                                                                  • Susanna Kailing
                                                                                    Susanna Kailing  5 months back

                                                                                    Brief? What if you've got that one in the back of your head that's lasted for 15 years?

                                                                                    • A Bit Silaashh
                                                                                      A Bit Silaashh  5 months back

                                                                                      her voice is giving me headache

                                                                                      • Ruiying Lian
                                                                                        Ruiying Lian  5 months back

                                                                                        I want to read all the weird funny crush stories.

                                                                                        • Percy Noynay
                                                                                          Percy Noynay  5 months back

                                                                                          Having a crush is toxic for me.
                                                                                          I hate that my emotions get to manipulate me, alter my decisions, often times i just caught myself being not myself.

                                                                                          • Alex Munch
                                                                                            Alex Munch  5 months back

                                                                                            I watched this in hopes of figuring out what a friend sees in me and if he likes me or not. How in the world can you tell if a shy guy likes you!?