The Christian Dating Boundaries No One Talks About


Comments • 1 171

  • HiddenTalent
    HiddenTalent  2 hours back

    I believe that if there are so, so many things you have to be careful NOT to do, why not just wait for God’s go-ahead and be sure?

    There was a similar situation with a friend of mine. She’s a Christian and is dating a guy. She told me that their pastor had prayed over the relationship. I was mildly confused and unsure on how to advice her bc I understand that everyone’s relationship with God is different—but shouldn’t there be some consistency across the board? What if every teen starts dating someone now without asking God for direction and defend themselves with the “conviction card”?

    I’m honestly confused because I see so many young people like me get into a relationship for reasons I’m not sure and then they try to tempt me and say “well how else are you going to know the person you’re going to marry?” And I feel old fashioned when I tell them I’ll pray for the will of God. Gosh, this topic is controversial and so many of my friends have questions concerning this area.

    But the adults in my church shut it down with the “you’re too young and you have no reason to be dating in the first place” and the “pray for the will of God and then talk to the elders to get approval” and the “Is it scriptural???”

    I personally don’t want to mess up my life with all that drama that comes with teen dating. I’d like to stay focused, finish my studies, let God use me to impact lives (although still praying for a husband in the background) THEN cross that bridge when I get to it. There’s A LOT you can learn about relationships without having to get into one. I’d just rather be on the safe side of things. But of course, I’m still growing and understanding that God is a lot more... I want to say “unconventional” than the Christian community thinks. It’s important to be careful with that, though—I don’t mean “unconventional” like progressive, but not tied down to religion and rules humans made up and call Christianity. It really varies for everyone, but should never conflict in anyway with the Scripture. That’s a big one for me, that it never conflicts with Scripture.

    But I can actually relate with you though. There are a lot of things God tells me that I know my church leaders won’t agree with. So I keep it to myself, having in mind that place in the Bible that talks about not causing others to stumble because you personally aren’t convicted with that one thing (e.g. God may allow you to drink wine once in a while but doing it my cause your best friend, who’s not there yet, to stumble and sear their conscience). You get me?

    Oop. I spoke to much, lol 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

    • jwhalstrom75
      jwhalstrom75  12 hours back

      Fantastic video! A wonderful perspective.

      • The Official Isaac Linkowski

        Just to clarify, my opinion... I would say it’s a good thing to study at least once in a while, cuz then you can see how he/she interprets things, and their perspective in what your reading. For example, if he/she is constantly taking verses out of context, ur gonna wanna know about it. But I would agree to not just do it with him/her every time you go into the word, or pray. But this was very helpful! Thanks!

        • Kalei Kathleen
          Kalei Kathleen  1 weeks back

          Thank you!!!

          • Bronze
            Bronze  2 weeks back

            I don't think most Christians have to worry about relationships, since the churches keep the genders separated. My church just had a single women's luncheon....It would be nice to get rejected at least...we can all fantasize.

            • Set Apart
              Set Apart  3 weeks back

              Becca !!!
              I love you so much. You’re so inspiring. I’ve been a subscriber since 2017 and I thank God He led me to you!
              I’ve created a Christian channel too 🧡!
              Thanks for hearing from God and inspiring us too! God bless you and your household!
              We Win !!!

              Btw your videos almost seem tailored for me!

              • Zoe Pagaduan
                Zoe Pagaduan  1 months back

                my partner is spiritually not okay.. and the tendency we always talk about S stuffs. and its hard for me ... becauss he hate it when i change the topic.. or i talk bible topics.. like that.. i dnt want to live in this kind of relatioship. every action that i have he always talk about it as a negative way..... its been a mnth. and i hate this.

                • Kalvin Lee
                  Kalvin Lee  1 months back

                  the best contraceptive for christian men is to be a real christian..........women hate that with a passion

                  • Michele Dobbs
                    Michele Dobbs  1 months back

                    Thank you so much for this!

                    • Jonathan Ganesh
                      Jonathan Ganesh  2 months back

                      god was created by a human to control other humans...forcing who, when, where, how and what you have sex with. Ain't it funny god never tells this to other animals. Lol. Just have as much sex and get intimate with as many people as you can, otherwise how will you truly know them?

                      • Zack Amethyst
                        Zack Amethyst  3 weeks back

                        @Jonathan Ganesh k

                      • Jonathan Ganesh
                        Jonathan Ganesh  3 weeks back

                        @Zack Amethyst that's romance, not sex. Two different drugs.

                      • Zack Amethyst
                        Zack Amethyst  3 weeks back

                        How about decent conversations and being there in times of need?

                    • Camille Lewis
                      Camille Lewis  2 months back

                      Inspired by God's word through you, His vessel. All the best in your relationship!

                      • Lauren Gonzalez
                        Lauren Gonzalez  2 months back

                        Thank you so much, I went through a breakup 4 months ago and it was so very hard to heal and honestly I’m still healing. I didn’t understand why it hurt so much but you’re so right it’s so very difficult to heal when you had that spiritual connection you just wanna keep running back to them and asking for prayer and advice and study the Bible with them when you know it’s not God’s timing or will for that rn. Thank you for using your wisdom and opening my eyes on where I fell short guarding my heart ( including ya always talking about the future and marriage). It felt so pure but also I felt convicted and I ignored it in those times cause I didn’t even think of that spiritual connection. Love you Becca❤️

                        • fallenSlave
                          fallenSlave  2 months back

                          kissing with the tonglue makes boys have an erection. And erection is already a sexual act in the hearth according to Matthew5:28 so, better save your kiss till marriage if you did not saved it.

                          • fallenSlave
                            fallenSlave  2 months back

                            Legalistic? Why you always use this word, when the Holy Bible teaches what you say?

                            • fallenSlave
                              fallenSlave  2 months back

                              1. Save your first kiss till the day of your marriage.

                              2. Save your virginity till the night of your Marriage

                              3. Dont stay in a room alone with an oposite sex. If it is not your cousin or sister, or mother.

                              • Tayler Peoples
                                Tayler Peoples  2 months back

                                YESSSSSSS. I had sex prior to being intentional in dating and setting my own boundaries. I am now celibate but now Im working through the process of breaking the soul ties that sex creates. Soul ties are so real and I wish I understood better before I made the decisions that I did!

                                • Ashlyn Carter
                                  Ashlyn Carter  3 months back

                                  such great advice

                                  • jenna c
                                    jenna c  3 months back

                                    this was super helpful

                                    • BLANK BLANK
                                      BLANK BLANK  3 months back

                                      I am 100% convinced YOU are the lady he wants to marry! He has already made up his mind! A SUPERIOR counterpart is hard enough to find! He is going to be VERY careful not top lose you!

                                      • VICTOR ITA
                                        VICTOR ITA  3 months back

                                        Thanks a lot for this has answered a lot of the questions I had about a Christian relationship. Thanks and God bless you.

                                        • Lili Grace
                                          Lili Grace  3 months back

                                          This advice really helped me understand more about how to take my relationship seriously...I thought that I wasn't sharing Gd with my boyfriend enough but I think your totally right when you say we are meant to keep it separate until marriage. Keep up the amazing advice from God xx

                                          • Koaletti
                                            Koaletti  3 months back

                                            Awesome insight! I really needed this!!!💕

                                            • SARKEK
                                              SARKEK  3 months back

                                              God bless you and keep you.

                                              • Brianna Nichole
                                                Brianna Nichole  3 months back

                                                Hi, I’m an atheist :)

                                                • Christina
                                                  Christina  3 months back

                                                  You weren't rambling. i think dating is a modern made-up deal that often tries to mimic marriage without being marriage. So, it's incredibly important to define and adhere to boundaries while still getting a solid idea of whom you're dating (compatibility in goals, values, relationship with the Lord etc).

                                                  • Annie Cott
                                                    Annie Cott  3 months back

                                                    Great advice. Especially the last point about not studying the bible together. That's so important and it's where a lot of Christians get themselves hurt. Bless you for this.

                                                    • Daniel Tulalessy
                                                      Daniel Tulalessy  3 months back

                                                      Do you kiss your boyfriend? 😅

                                                      • Jus Jason
                                                        Jus Jason  3 months back

                                                        Thank you for this video. You even put the scriptures in the description. God bless you ma’am.

                                                        • francesca sibley
                                                          francesca sibley  3 months back

                                                          very wise❤

                                                          • Yeshua is light
                                                            Yeshua is light  3 months back

                                                            With kissing, I believe this is a very deep intimate thing that joins you both together. I have heard of many prostitutes who only refuse to kiss because it connects them emotionally.
                                                            What you have said is so beautiful, thank you for sharing and I do agree with you and this is such an important message.
                                                            But you are opening becoming soul tied by kissing, no doubt. I would like to hear other people’s thoughts?

                                                            • David Tucker
                                                              David Tucker  3 months back

                                                              So question for another video maybe. How does a guy find out a girl's view on headship? I believe that to be something important He has set up in the relationship (not sexist, He sets the man up as the provider and the one He ultimately holds responsible in a relationship, this is why He asked for Adam in the Garden and not Eve). I'm trying to figure out a way to ask that without being super awkward about it.

                                                              • Jeremiah Tassinari
                                                                Jeremiah Tassinari  3 months back

                                                                "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

                                                                Only Jesus Christ is the way to Heaven and be saved from hell.

                                                                "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
                                                                Romans 5:8

                                                                "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

                                                                Have you believed in your heart that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins, was buried, and rose from the grave? You must believe that Jesus is the one who paid for your sins and rose again to be saved from eternal damnation and instead go to heaven

                                                                "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9

                                                                "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." 1 John 5:7

                                                                • Anna Lynn
                                                                  Anna Lynn  3 months back

                                                                  This was an incredible Spirit led video, The Lord definitely used you and spoke to me, thank you!

                                                                  • summmertimegirl
                                                                    summmertimegirl  3 months back

                                                                    When you know what she's talking about, YOU KNOW these are tips worth considering

                                                                    • Kaylee Jernigan
                                                                      Kaylee Jernigan  3 months back

                                                                      This is the first time I've ever seen one of your videos and I am honestly speechless. There is so much information making sense that I never thought of before. Thank you so much for being that person who speaks the truth and gives such biblical advice! Your words have definitely redirected a few of my thoughts. Thank you for being a vessel for Jesus! We so needed this!

                                                                      • John Crawford
                                                                        John Crawford  3 months back

                                                                        How tall are you? Asking for a friend

                                                                        • priscila awdrey
                                                                          priscila awdrey  3 months back

                                                                          so useful, thank you!

                                                                          • Shaloniii
                                                                            Shaloniii  3 months back

                                                                            Actually loved this. Thank you so much

                                                                            • Stephanie L
                                                                              Stephanie L  4 months back

                                                                              Awww beautiful video

                                                                              • Kate Imm
                                                                                Kate Imm  4 months back

                                                                                I broke the one boundary you mentioned about telling them your hopes for your future together (kids and all that) with a guy, and I can say that it crushed me and turned my world upside down when he cut us off. It would've hurt less if I wouldn't have made so many "plans" and dreams with him. So I definitely agree with you

                                                                              • CBizTV
                                                                                CBizTV  4 months back

                                                                                Great points!

                                                                                • Ra Souldier
                                                                                  Ra Souldier  4 months back

                                                                                  What kind of car does an egg drive?

                                                                                  a yolkswagen! ^-^

                                                                                  • Mr. Neverdie
                                                                                    Mr. Neverdie  4 months back

                                                                                    Me and a real close friend have feelings, but I'm shipping out before anything can really happen. I don't know what to do.

                                                                                    • Jessica Romero
                                                                                      Jessica Romero  4 months back

                                                                                      Thank you for answering a question that has been on mind for a while now. Really, I should thank God for allowing me to stumble upon this amazing video!

                                                                                      • Rissa Heart
                                                                                        Rissa Heart  4 months back

                                                                                        Wow Becca!!! Thank you so very much for this Video!! I really needed that in my life right now. Especially as a reminder and your right %100 about being to open with the one we care about and being to spiritually open with them until Marriage ❤️ Thank you! I can relate to you more then other people I have seen on YouTube ! Look forward to seeing more of your videos

                                                                                        • Open up your heart
                                                                                          Open up your heart  4 months back

                                                                                          I loveee the emotional part!!! I wish someone told me this earlier.God bless you sis.

                                                                                          • MrHotbulldozer
                                                                                            MrHotbulldozer  4 months back

                                                                                            Christian men need to keep away from woman, you are better off without them.

                                                                                            • The Kurly K's
                                                                                              The Kurly K's  4 months back

                                                                                              I appreciate some of the things you're taking about, such as setting boundaries and wanted to live pure for God; but I'm very certain "soul ties" and "giving away pieces of your heart" is NOT in the Bible. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it only mentions that 'the two become one flesh' not one spirit of soul. And we are to guard our hearts from sin, not from having a crush or falling emotionally for someone. This feels more like"don't get your hopes up". I do agree a person shouldn't embarrass themselves by acting like they are getting married when they have only been dating for a couple of weeks, but teaching you can give pieces of your heart away is simply not biblical. What happens if a girl gives all the pieces of her heart away? Does she have no heart to give? Anyways, I hate being that person to leave a negative comment... I do appreciate your faith and desire to teach others about staying pure. Keep pressing into the Word!