Have you met your soul mate? | Ashley Clift-Jennings | TEDxUniversityofNevada

  • Published: 15 February 2017
  • What does it mean to be married to someone who is transgender? Ashley Clift-Jennings had to answer that question six years into marriage to her husband. After overcoming her fear of what other people would think, she now appreciates that her spouse is her soul mate, and she would know how to find her in a dark room.

    Ashley is the rare combination of big ideas and big action. With an innate ability to see the larger picture and connect seemingly unrelated dots, Ashley has advised dozens of small businesses from startup into growth. She believes strongly in community and is a powerhouse in her hometown of Reno, organizing meetups and events like Reno Maker Faire and Startup Weekend Reno. She is the founder and former CEO of Girlmade, an accelerator program for women to encourage a new, positive narrative that girls can run their own startups. Now with Parlor, Ashley is combining all her natural talents as a super-connector, problem-solver and music lover to push back on the “starving artist” myth. Ashley graduated from Columbia University and is a member of Nevada Lieutenant Governor Mark Hutchison’s Northern Nevada Entrepreneurship Task Force (EFT).

    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 1 843

  • Carol Vevle
    Carol Vevle  12 hours back

    I thought I married my soul mate, but it turns out I married a dangerous psychopath. They are now talking about a cure, but he would have to be willing to do a lot of work. He is very selfish, so I left him 14 months ago. All he said was: "No, matter what you say or do or where you go, I will take care of you!" Then, he went ghosting, for about the sixth time & this time, it's about a month!! Right now, my soul mate is a Cockateil. She is so cure. OMG!! HEE!!! HEE!!! HEE!!!!

    • Mariana Valle-Riestra
      Mariana Valle-Riestra  2 days back

      Not really inspiring.

      • Tina Thomas
        Tina Thomas  4 days back


        • Rosalynn Sue Narcowich

          I am an INFJ and find Narcissistic - however - I am so much older.

          • Ella Saluria
            Ella Saluria  6 days back

            ...struggle is real..

            • BIG BEN
              BIG BEN  1 weeks back

              SAY NO TO LGBT. period

              • Madelyn Grainger
                Madelyn Grainger  1 weeks back

                I'm crying this is so beautiful

                • Sarah Espina
                  Sarah Espina  1 weeks back

                  a soulmate is deeper than superficial physicality of a person. It’s falling in love with the person’s soul more than anything else. It’s a deep connection in thoughts between two people; who feel both secured and locked-in to the bond they have for each other.

                  • Rhiannon Sacks
                    Rhiannon Sacks  2 weeks back

                    I love this story and i'm happy for them but I could never do the same as her. I have a very primal feminine connection. I love the masculine spirit. Everything in my soul calls out for the most masculine of males. Thoughts?

                    • Danielle Danielle
                      Danielle Danielle  2 weeks back

                      Sooo she was tricked basically? Or he transitioned after. This has nothing to do with the title.

                      • INANNA Shu
                        INANNA Shu  2 weeks back

                        BS,too many holes in the story and she didn't realize her spouse was transgendered and needed to medically until all ready married?

                        • Natasha Bonner
                          Natasha Bonner  2 weeks back

                          Video didn't answer the question in the title of the speech. Was expecting a list of signs etc.

                          • Marc Abramsky
                            Marc Abramsky  2 weeks back

                            I would never judge a person's choices in life. Never! However, let me tell you what is wrong with this in one word. "TRUST"! She is forgiving and that is good. However, it doesn't abscond she/he from disclosing that right off the bat. I would be thinking right away "ok what else did I miss and what else is coming down the road". This is like a woman or man that suddenly discloses that she has been having an affair or wants to see other people. What do you say, "Oh sure no problem? Take some time to find yourself" Or do you tell the person, "ok go find yourself but I am not waiting". Both answers are correct by the way. Think about it.

                            • Trisha Lunde
                              Trisha Lunde  2 weeks back

                              Yea, treatable... by telling "them too bad dude, you're a man, get over it." Good lord. What is happening

                              • Hima Zacharia
                                Hima Zacharia  3 weeks back


                                This speaker, Ashley transitioned to male, now named Ethan.
                                I'm not joking. Ethanjclift on twitter if ya want proof.
                                They really were made for each other

                                • Quratulain Abbasi
                                  Quratulain Abbasi  3 weeks back

                                  Amazing 👍🏼👍🏼

                                  • Xime Garcia
                                    Xime Garcia  3 weeks back

                                    i really do think that everyone has a soulmate , and justin Bieber is mine , he is been in my life for a minute now and i feel that i understand him in a deeper way than a crazy fan , i know that he is married now , but eather way HE IS MY SOALMATE and i genuinely love him in every way possible

                                    • The Accomplished One
                                      The Accomplished One  3 weeks back

                                      Somebody lied!

                                      • The Accomplished One
                                        The Accomplished One  3 weeks back

                                        How are you soulmates and not share that?

                                        • Julien Blanc Dubois
                                          Julien Blanc Dubois  3 weeks back

                                          Soulmate is a Myth.

                                          • Heidy Iglesias
                                            Heidy Iglesias  3 weeks back

                                            I don’t feel that way with my partner. Not often. Is it real? The peaceful thing?

                                            • Liam Vic
                                              Liam Vic  3 weeks back

                                              8:42 she was about to say cisgender, but decided not to in hopes of appealing to a wider audience. Very nice choice, and wonderful talk. -from a trans guy

                                              • samantha4130
                                                samantha4130  3 weeks back

                                                Liam Vic She is actually now a Trans Guy. Massive plot twist number two.

                                            • Taylah Jayde
                                              Taylah Jayde  4 weeks back

                                              To whoever may be reading this right now, You better be having a fabulous, fun, positive week receiving only love and kindness!

                                              My name is Taylah McSpadden and today I am popping up in your emails to talk to you about something serious that is in the process of getting planned, and that is….
                                              A non profit organisation that's goal is to protect and save millions of suffering humans that are exactly like you and I except not as lucky. Or should i say no where near as lucky?

                                              I am almost 20 years old and for the last two years I have been educating myself on all the unexplainable, unacceptable actions that are being taken all over the world and i'm sure you have heard of the saying “even in your backyard” WELL YES IT'S TRUE.
                                              Sadly there is an unbelievable amount of bullsh*t happening starting from severe poverty to mass destruction and corruption. All for an extra dollar in the bank! Reason I say dollar is because the people with the power, causing the damage are too selfish to notice what they actually have.
                                              Devastatingly and truthfully enough there is not enough help out there and terrifyingly society is not really aware of the realities millions have to wake up to everyday causing the unfair cycle to continue.
                                              Here's a question for you though… We have the power to save these people so why is it only getting worse and why are we not saving them ? You can't say we are because everyone could do alot more than what they are achieving ! Millions of innocent people are experiencing horrifying pain and constant fear/worry and they simply do not need to be going through what they are going through!

                                              Within my organisation we will have a diverse range of volunteers all offering their genuine, loving, fun kind souls and helping hands all whilst we travel around our beautiful (dying) earth to shine a light on the darkness that is occurring and reoccurring for millions. Giving those a voice that deserves to be heard. Uncovering all the lost uneducated broken souls and beauty, sharing and listening to the heartbreaking resilient untold stories from men, women and children of all ages and backgrounds. Supplying education surrounding all factors and start opening people's imagination and minds to help give them a better future by sharing any knowledge we have in only the best of ways. We will have a film crew that rides with us on every adventure recording a whole mix of content that we will share with hundreds of communities and on our social media channels.

                                              I plan to start by travelling to the Philippines by May 2019 to help with volunteering and to gain more insight on the corruption that is happening in the unfortunate country. Horrifyingly enough they are also a huge target for earthquakes and human trafficking! With a crazy percentage of the country living in poverty it makes them victims of gullibility,control and inequality. Once i feel i have gained enough insight of the basics like poverty, lack of resources etc, I will return to my safe little luxurious home in Australia where I will then meet up with my team in which we will start arranging long term beneficial goals to put in place with the help of a few contacts we gained when over there and hopefully help from you.

                                              All cost will be covered, that way the word will get spread quicker therefore more people will show up to get this show on the road and thankfully it is really not expensive for flights, travel, accommodation etc and the best part is I could feed a family of 6 for $2 and so can you. So the reason I am emailing you all this today is to ask for your help whether it be a compliment, knowledge, donations, resources, a sponsorship or you joining the team and tagging along. Not only will you be helping me achieve my goals but you will be saving, supporting, and caring for millions of others who need help TODAY. RIGHT NOW! What could be better? Please help me help them. Please.

                                              I really hope to hear from you soon, Love From Taylah McSpadden xoxoxoxo

                                              • Maddy Hughes
                                                Maddy Hughes  1 months back

                                                Beautiful... everything she said couldn’t be more true.

                                                • AdvPalwasha khan
                                                  AdvPalwasha khan  1 months back

                                                  I think soul connection is more important.

                                                  • 1Gooch
                                                    1Gooch  1 months back


                                                    • SHTV 7
                                                      SHTV 7  1 months back

                                                      no i havent met my soulmate because i watch too many ted talks videos. Which means i lost my personality and credibility in the real world.

                                                      • Lovorlie 95
                                                        Lovorlie 95  1 months back

                                                        A partner in life is someone you stand by through thick and thin. Theyre both so brave. I have so much respect for her understanding and support of her wife. That's bravery and faith and compassion.

                                                        • Jillian Samaha
                                                          Jillian Samaha  1 months back

                                                          Her voice is so soothing

                                                          • Nicole Fisher
                                                            Nicole Fisher  1 months back

                                                            She sounds like she is still confused and hurt. She doesn’t want to let go of the romantic aspect relationship. She’s the proud wife of a trans woman??? This ain’t it. Let it go sis. She needs to be true to herself.

                                                            • BM HF
                                                              BM HF  1 months back


                                                              • Sweet_Misery
                                                                Sweet_Misery  1 months back

                                                                Wtf youtube, I just went through a break up..

                                                                • redloriyellowlori
                                                                  redloriyellowlori  1 months back

                                                                  being trans isn't really a condition, more of a side effect of white society's gender binary

                                                                  • Jennifer
                                                                    Jennifer  1 months back

                                                                    To everyone saying this title is misleading... The point of this is we judge people so much on what they look like on the outside that you may have met your soul mate and not even know it because they don't fit in your "box". The opposite happened to her, he did fit in her "box", but then when he(now she) became trans, he suddenly didn't. It challenges a lot of our preconceptions of what we fantasize our "soul mate" to look like, and the expectations we have of other people.

                                                                    • ART2 ARTISTIC
                                                                      ART2 ARTISTIC  1 months back

                                                                      I met my soulmate on 26 january 2016 always together even we have not met for more than 15 minutes from last 2 years.his soul is artist my soul is artist perfect.

                                                                      • Tahajod Heartent
                                                                        Tahajod Heartent  1 months back

                                                                        WOW..that was ...WOW!!

                                                                        • Jaivardhan Singh
                                                                          Jaivardhan Singh  2 months back

                                                                          Salute to her and her soulmate

                                                                          • v d
                                                                            v d  2 months back

                                                                            This is such a wonderful example of true love when marriages break apart because of petty issues she stood by her partner and accepted her as she is. Respect

                                                                            • Thabisile Dlamini
                                                                              Thabisile Dlamini  2 months back

                                                                              I met my twinflame 4 years ago, most people would say a twinflame is a soul mate but it's very different. I literally saw myself, my soul in another body and even though this person was a stranger they felt and looked familiar - lets just say since then the rabbit hole got deeper and a new world opened up to me, a spiritual awakening began.

                                                                              • peach cream
                                                                                peach cream  2 months back

                                                                                some people are complaining that the title is misleading, but I believe the takeaway from this video was that sometimes the person who is best for us and who we end up loving the best is not necessarily the same as our preconceived idea of what our soulmate is. it's best to keep an open mind and an open heart in pursuit of your soulmate.

                                                                                • Parm Lehal
                                                                                  Parm Lehal  2 months back

                                                                                  talking about souls yet getting confused with gender identity??? what kind of warped soul connection???

                                                                                  • Kan Malkor
                                                                                    Kan Malkor  2 months back

                                                                                    wonderfull :3

                                                                                    • Ria Vashishth
                                                                                      Ria Vashishth  2 months back

                                                                                      Her gulping is so irritating -_- does anyone else feel the same?

                                                                                      • Badian Sietemil
                                                                                        Badian Sietemil  2 months back

                                                                                        Everyone complaining about the title being misleading haven't understood the message... There's no way to determine what kind of person your soulmate is, you have to take them as they are, and if you can't, you're not the right one for them.

                                                                                        • Shane Towne
                                                                                          Shane Towne  2 months back

                                                                                          I was hoping it was a discussion about soul mates who they are how the relationships are, it needs a different title

                                                                                          • Shafna Fahick
                                                                                            Shafna Fahick  2 months back

                                                                                            You see more in love that you actually see.... awed honestly.... it's about loving the soul underneath the skin...

                                                                                            • AI Jon Garrison Bot
                                                                                              AI Jon Garrison Bot  2 months back

                                                                                              My soul mates my phone. We are together here and forever. 👻

                                                                                              • Dark Soul
                                                                                                Dark Soul  2 months back

                                                                                                👏👏👏 it's painful ... though heartwarming 😢😍 ... she's lucky to have you 😊💪👏❤