3 Attraction Shortcuts To Become His Obvious Choice | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs


Comments • 174

  • Emiel Terzieff-Godefroy

    the opening is real.... i made a dating acc for experiment. i even only use cat meme as my profile picture and barely a sentence in desc, and managed to get many matches. on the other hand my male friend..hardly.

    • Michelle Monk
      Michelle Monk  4 days back

      Mmm. I look for old fashioned men - because I'm an old fashioned lady!

      Men who know how to dress nicely (in the traditional male can handle a job or go to church way... you know, shirts without holes and smells.. it's more rare here in Portland OR).

      • Honesty, kindness, health and family values
      • Politically left
      • likes learning
      • Men who like peaceful activity and are not adrenaline addicts..
      Because I want someone I feel safe with, someone who is easily pleased with talking walks, reading books, drinking tea.. someone who is not an adventure addict because there's a lot of them in Portland. I value someone to come home to and cook with more than someone to go on adventures with constantly. Someone who will be happy with cross country skiing with me once or twice a year, who does not feel the need to snowboard or complain that we're not taking enough risk with our adventuring. Someone patient, calm and steady.. these qualities also help when it comes to my feeling safe, dating a best friend, and then training skills in the bedroom. Ah patience, yes..
      • Along the same lines, I can tell when I'm with a good listener. I'm really impressed by that, especially because I'm not the best at it due to brain fog. I admire the effort given to trying to listen to others.

      • Someone who likes classic brain board games like scrabble or Sorry or jenga, chess or charades! Ah that would be amazing! So many men in today's society want a girl who plays board games only to find out that the guy only likes world dominion games. I have dated men who only play those before. All it does is make me feel stupid and unincluded. A guy who can handle or even like or love a classic-style board game tgat is female-friendly.. Ah! That's awesome!! Amazing!

      • I look for guys who want to cook or learn how to cook. Meals together is important to me, and I can't eat at restaurants due to many food restrictions. So restaurant addicts get my doubt about whether or not I should go for them. Right now on my profile I have not publicized my IBS issues. I leave it a mystery with breadcrumb trail until later on. So I don't completely say no to the guy (swipe left) but I do swipe right and then wonder how they would handle a challenge. I figure I'll give them a chance to see whether they want to try the challenge or not, instead of choosing for them. I sometimes find that they actually don't mind not going to restaurants , and sometimes I find men who have many food allergies too and are relieved by my needs! They prefer to cook together at home but didn't want to admit it online!

      • Ideally I'd prefer to date a Christian or Buddhist, spiritual person or agnostic but wondering. Someone who could possibly want to come to my Methodist church with me and involve themselves with volunteering with me eventually. I like that the Methodist church encourages questioning so no one has to be 100% sure about anything. Uncertainty is not a sin! We're starting a young adult group and I'm hoping that this community can start to be a big part of my life. So I look for men who can at least respect that, if not have some curiousity about it.

      I have my profile written in a way that invites us not to chit chat for forever. I say that I hate texting. So far it's going well. I also put a speed dating event announcement on it and said I'm not afraid of blind mandates or date #0. I like friends first. So far it's going well! The trick is to get offline as fast as possible. Men think that we want them to chat online with them.. well I don't. It takes up too much time and gives me too much opportunity to judge them. People always have miscommunication when texting too much within a relationship. I see no reason why this is any different. It's like starting off with terrible communication. So I make it clear what I want. It's been 2 weeks of online dating and so far I got 1 date which was awesome and seeing him again - we called to plan #2! That guy asked me out within the first hello.. yay that means my message was clear and effective. Then I have 1 date planned with another guy. He chit chatted first until I was losing patience (about 1 day or 5 threads back and forth) and instead of ghosting, I brought the topic of meeting up. Internet lag, he brought it up at the same time! Time date Where, always a walk or tea. Bam let's go. And then I give my phone number.. or for the first guy, I gave very specific instructions about where I'd be, and after the date I gave him my phone number. He texted, then I called to plan the next time. Going well, easy so far! Both strategies seem to be working. The not chatting online or on the phone is very important to me and it's making old fashioned men who also don't like texting, attracted to me too. Win win.

      I have said I like being friends first. And its clear I'm looking for "fall in love with your best friend" material. So, With the first guy, we handshakes and then walked around. I noticed he was very respectful with not touching me and at the end we handshaked and hugged actually. I noticed that some women (so I hear) would have judged this as a reason to friend-zone him because he wasn't touchy enough. I am not looking for a hookup though. So I thought it was wonderfully respectful. He made me smile till my face hurt, just with his supportive shy company. A gentle man. I like that! I determined I wanted a second date because I asked myself, ifthis were another era and I were shopping for arranged marriages, would I say yes to this man? Is there potential? Can I see a future family and partnership with him?trust with him? Sex life with him? And the answer was yes! If I was looking for arranged marriages in another era, I would say yes to him and I already know it. Never despise meager beginnings right? Don't judge him on the fact that he's shy and slow, especially when I know I like those guys! I think it's easy to judge them for some reason. Friend zoning them. No! Don't! They are the best types!! At least for a girl like me.

      I'd be happy to paste my profile here if anyone wants to know how I've achieved this. It's too long, but still seems effective.

      Love your video Matt!

      • Ashley Turner
        Ashley Turner  1 weeks back

        A man that I chose stood out because he was direct and upfront about what he saw and wanted in his future -- marriage, kids, a paid for house, etc. He had a vision and a PLAN for achieving it. It allowed me to see myself in his plan.

        • Anjali Sinha
          Anjali Sinha  1 weeks back

          very beautiful n accurate points.

          • Tracey Cutler
            Tracey Cutler  2 weeks back

            Confidence, openness and humor

            • natashaki4u
              natashaki4u  3 weeks back

              I like when someone shows genuine interest in me and not just ask superficial questions...

              • Helena Seger
                Helena Seger  3 weeks back

                If he truly listens to you and then remembers the little things you mentioned

                • MammaBear
                  MammaBear  1 months back

                  Show me that I'm a priority, not just an option.

                  • Rachel Lee
                    Rachel Lee  1 months back

                    Every door I open does not lead to Independence. My relationship pathers are dictative and completely controling. With no real regard for me at all. They seem to be totally abusive and neglectful in every aspect of the word.

                    • yajaira castellanos
                      yajaira castellanos  1 months back

                      can you make more videos on this topick like what to say when they send a message? I like some man than have send message to me but don't know what to say. Also what to do with compliments. I don't want to say I know I am beautiful and sound stuck up. Thank you-you are amazing

                      • Empress Tarot by Gabby Turner

                        3:26 "Choose." Is he actually someone *you* would choose? Concentrate on that instead of trying to make him like you. In other words, your objective isn't to convince him you're worthy, but to see if he is worthy of you. If you're seeking for him to choose/validate you, you've sent the signal he's already won you without even having to try. When you are selective, it also demonstrates you are desired and have options.
                        6:10 "Certainty." Tell him the things you like about him, if you actually do like things about him.
                        8:18 "Courage to Be Real." Don't try to seem perfect, because authentic connection and being vulnerable creates closeness.

                        • Kat Alfaro-Baeza
                          Kat Alfaro-Baeza  2 months back

                          Honesty, appreciating me, having the courage to show me his feelings and vulnerabilities.

                          • Adela
                            Adela  2 months back

                            Non clingy, confident, heading towards success, vulnerable, tender and honest.

                            • Vernice Thompson
                              Vernice Thompson  2 months back

                              I like guys who smile at me in a special way and who take good care of their bodies.

                              • Catherine OMelia
                                Catherine OMelia  2 months back

                                Thanks Matthew videos are really help full in answering alot of my questions. The man I'm attracted to seems to be displaying alot of this. leaves me confused sometimes. Your wife is a luckey woman she doesn't have to guess where you are at. I'm learning from you though.

                                • Lisa Strunk
                                  Lisa Strunk  2 months back

                                  Thank you, Matt, for pointing out that there is no need to seem "perfect" on the first few dates. Not only can we usually smell a phony but my time I choose to spend to go on a date is valuable to me. I would prefer that time be spent getting to know the person better not just a side of themselves that may be "embellished."

                                  • D. F.
                                    D. F.  2 months back

                                    Qualities? Honesty, integrity are big. I have a coworker who can see when I need help with a situation and he steps in and handles it. And that makes me feel very feminine, whereas I’m used to a lifetime of being my own hero. I’ve heard some women complain about men who solve problems instead of just empathizing but I have to say that I fully appreciate the problem solver! Treat me like I matter and I will keep you in my heart the same way.

                                    • Kerrie Mills
                                      Kerrie Mills  2 months back

                                      Thanks Matt, have really valued this advice and enjoy watching you're videos, thank you.

                                      • Shawana Ryals
                                        Shawana Ryals  3 months back

                                        He needs to decide that I am the only one he wants and treat me like I am of utmost importance. Often times a man will take a woman for granted and put other items ie people on his agenda while at the same time he's committed to a woman. This is a red flag especially in the beginning when a couple is trying to seal a bond. Time investment is important though some men might call it needy it's not. The idea is actually flattering that she is proving that she only wants to be with you rather than Ronnie, Ricky, or Mike from the job because trust me they'd like a woman like her too and if she wasn't stuck on you she might like them back. Men often lose out on attractive women because of the separation test they put her through because while he's out finding himself and leaving her unsure of things she's liable to occupy herself with someone else in her down time aside from working toward her dreams. The beauty about love is that there are a million other handsome fish in the sea but when 2 people choose each other and stick together it's magical. That means quality time and creating fun stuff to do together all the time until you both agree on some alone time. For me that's when I go shopping or some other self grooming thing and if he's smart he'll do the same rather than just hanging out.

                                        • Biljana Temovski
                                          Biljana Temovski  3 months back

                                          Ahhhahah loved it!

                                          • Theresa Williams
                                            Theresa Williams  3 months back

                                            His attention is focused on me when he is with me, not on checking out every female that walks by. He makes me feel special.

                                            • ALMA MORENO
                                              ALMA MORENO  3 months back

                                              All the men I know are married ... what am I doing wrong, that I can not even attract single men?

                                              • nobody46820
                                                nobody46820  3 months back

                                                Oh FFS, keep simping.

                                                • Lava Yuki
                                                  Lava Yuki  3 months back

                                                  That intro on how men and women use dating apps is so funny! But it's pretty accurate, i swipe left the majority of the time lol

                                                  • Debra Kelly
                                                    Debra Kelly  3 months back

                                                    I like it when a man is "in my corner." He's protective of me (physically and emotionally) and he has my back. I like to feel like we are a team. That's very attractive and rare.

                                                    • Coral Harmony Knight
                                                      Coral Harmony Knight  3 months back

                                                      Thank you for a great video.

                                                      • Coral Harmony Knight
                                                        Coral Harmony Knight  3 months back

                                                        I need a man who is spiritual and intelligent. :)

                                                        • Mama Know
                                                          Mama Know  3 months back

                                                          3:17 start time

                                                          • Rebecca Williams
                                                            Rebecca Williams  3 months back

                                                            A guy who opens the car door for me consistently...... not just on the first couple dates. And a man who always walks me to my car to make sure I’m safe and asks me to text him when I get home..... these guys get HUGE brownie points because those actions make me feel like he realizes how valuable I am and wants to protect me.

                                                            • I am hello earth
                                                              I am hello earth  3 months back

                                                              The dating app thing is exactly how we do it... we like almost everyone cause we first feel attrackted to what we see. I advise girls with a low self-esteem to rather just talk to the guy they feel attrackted to instead of waiting for him to come over. We don't always notice a girl we like but when we talk to you we could start feeling attraction too.

                                                              • Adela Radichetti
                                                                Adela Radichetti  3 months back

                                                                Thank you

                                                                • va2phx
                                                                  va2phx  3 months back

                                                                  I feel like we need to give a *BIG UP* to Matthew Hussey!!! That whole jacket line was his 😐

                                                                  • Doris F.
                                                                    Doris F.  3 months back

                                                                    He’s sense of humour and sexy eyes

                                                                    • Elizabeth L
                                                                      Elizabeth L  3 months back

                                                                      To your question .... Be transparent.We shouldn’t be the only ones who’s open and vulnerable. If you really want to show that your boyfriend/husband quality... When you get invited to a party just by yourself... And she insisted you should go and enjoy yourself...It’s smart to say no.. Even when it means you’re going to be alone.. You wouldn’t want to go to that party with a bunch of single and “horny” women (as my boyfriend puts it) LOL.

                                                                      • rizza mae ong
                                                                        rizza mae ong  3 months back

                                                                        i never used Tinder and other dating sites.

                                                                        i think i'm lucky i didn't.

                                                                        Gamification of dating has amplified wrong expectations.

                                                                        people have unrealistic standards now.

                                                                        it would've been okay if we're perfect. but we all aren't.

                                                                        the narcis and entitled are having a fiesta online.

                                                                        they are in a shallow relationship to some they like
                                                                        but are losing out on building a deep connection with some1 while 'simmering' potentials.

                                                                        • Elsa Abera
                                                                          Elsa Abera  3 months back

                                                                          Thank you 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

                                                                          • Iris Weaver
                                                                            Iris Weaver  3 months back

                                                                            Lat man I dated always started our time together by talking about himself--on and on. When you see me, ask how I am. Be interested in what I am doing and have been doing.

                                                                            • Sandra Dee
                                                                              Sandra Dee  3 months back

                                                                              Spot on Iris! I find majority of men want to talk about themselves also. Their jobs, house, cars, how much money they make (voluntary turn off), sports, vacations etc. I have total recall of info mentioned previous week. I inquire an update (selective) & they're surprised I remembered? They're also very limited relative to intellectual conversation. (that's key}, therefore my degree of interest hits 0. No discussion of current events etc to keep it flowing. Then they only text (not call) to ask to go out again. Pass. Bottom line...I'm bored. To keep me interested you need to be interesting. Matt is great but this should be a shout out to guys. Self absorbed works both ways=0.

                                                                          • charleen hopkins
                                                                            charleen hopkins  4 months back

                                                                            honesty a guy that,s easy to talk to , funny , happy with his life .
                                                                            i think i need to think about this a bit more to find a better way to put it.

                                                                            • rizza mae ong
                                                                              rizza mae ong  4 months back

                                                                              for me, men will stand out if:

                                                                              ● he's financially stable.
                                                                              as in he earned it himself
                                                                              and has strong opinions
                                                                              about providing.

                                                                              ● he's intelligent.
                                                                              is a learning machine.
                                                                              +++ if he has a library 😍

                                                                              ● a good man.
                                                                              has solid values and has
                                                                              strong opinions about
                                                                              nationalism, faithfulness,
                                                                              honesty and family.

                                                                              this is just my opinion.
                                                                              hehe... 😉

                                                                              when i talk to a guy and he can carry a fun and intelligent conversation for hours, I'm hooked.

                                                                              • blessing wilcox
                                                                                blessing wilcox  4 months back

                                                                                I will love a man that has true respect for women and be honest.

                                                                                • IntuitionRecognitionWith_ Tabitha

                                                                                  Hilarious intro 😆👌🏼

                                                                                  • purpleroses
                                                                                    purpleroses  4 months back

                                                                                    The way he treats others; his family, friends, waiter, people who are rude to him. If he is kind, considerate and respectful to others, not quick to anger when people are rude to him is what makes him stand out.

                                                                                    • Hunter Collins
                                                                                      Hunter Collins  4 months back

                                                                                      Honesty and a gentle heart, laughter and intelligence that all stem from a kindness that is part of him at his core.

                                                                                      • Lisa ODierno
                                                                                        Lisa ODierno  4 months back

                                                                                        Men women like compliments. We like you to treat us like we’re special... we would like more sensitivity.

                                                                                        • Debbie Shannon
                                                                                          Debbie Shannon  4 months back

                                                                                          A man should have a date planned, not just ok what do you want to do, go, eat?

                                                                                          • A Taylor
                                                                                            A Taylor  4 months back

                                                                                            I agree with Kate Reaves investment in the relationship is important...… time is more valuable than money and a man who takes the time to plan an outing, spends quality time with you to find out your likes and dislikes and above all who LISTENS to what you say is my prince charming. The little things do matter. I had a date bring me sweet tarts on our first date because in one of our earlier conversation he asked me what was one of my favorite memories as I child. My answer was sitting on the back porch swing and sucking on sweet tarts and talking to my dad. I couldn't believe he actually remembered. He told me that my father was the first man I ever loved and he wanted the sweet tarts to remind me of that feeling when I was with him. He's married now and has three kids but I've never forgotten that all these years.

                                                                                            • Liz
                                                                                              Liz  4 months back

                                                                                              A bold confidence statement from the beginning. E.g.” I won’t share you”. Shocking, honest and vulnerable. Very sexy.

                                                                                              • Suzanne Plumley
                                                                                                Suzanne Plumley  4 months back

                                                                                                Mat, I will bring you a copy of my book at DBC training in March, I'd love your feedback!